talking sh*t

6/18/03

...those are the names of my turntables. I'd be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous about DJing this Mango Room after party. I’ve been editing for so long and this is my first major gig of the summer. That and the newly aquired Mohawk. It's cool to be in your basement editing with a mohawk but wearing it amongst folks is another matter. WHATever I’m feelin’ it. Just as long it's not Mr. T thick I’m cool.

I’m definitely gonna play slow jams. GOD when was the last time you went out and heard some real rubem’ up slow jams….OOO hell yeah. I’m a pull out the El Debarge, Teddy Pendegrass, Luther, Rick James and Tina Marie's Fire and Desire, Prince's Adore. I want to see folks embrace at least once that night, between all the dancing and sweating. Al Green Simply Beautiful, the OJ’s Forever Mine …OOOOOOOH snap…after 7 Ready Or Not. let me get to it.

ps we just got copies of Bullsh*t or Fertilizer in JAPANESE YALL!!!!!!

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6/14/03

I love you. If u don’t hear that from no where else today u hear it here

I’m learning how to say that to folks. Not very courageous doing it over the internet to faceless masses, but it’s a start. And I figure some folks go for weeks and months with out hearing it addressed to them. Especially dudes, we don’t say it to each other or anyone. It’s weird I guess there’s no real hard core masculine way to say “love u” to another guy, and if you tell that to a female they might think that you're trying to push up on them. But you know what…I can’t care about what MIGHT happen.

I LOVE YOU.

muthaf**ka :)

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6/11/03

Today on the way back from the library I saw a gas station sign that was put up right when the war in the middle east started. Originally it had said “God Bless America” but at some point the “B” had fallen off.

In front of the sign there was a pregnant woman (either she was pregnant or she had a serious beer gut) SMOKING!!! The traffic was such that I really couldn’t get my bike across to say something. Then the thought hit me: what would happen if I crossed over and asked her to consider the child she’s carrying, and she wasn’t even pregnant?

So then I wished I had a camera... and then I caught myself and thought “do we really need another negative image out there?"
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6/9/03

you can't change the world and write about it at the same time. you need both hands.
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6/7/03

So I decided to turn on the TV (why did I do that) and watch the news.

You know what? george w. bush is still president.

I had to think of something positive to say about that (see below, the good news exercise) and I came up with this.

He applied for a job that he didn’t get... and still has that job. That would be like me applying for a job at MC Donald’s and not getting hired, and then showing up the next day for work with the shirt and hat on. But my dad used to be the manager there so no one is really saying shit. Dad was always telling me all the perks like being able to hook my friends up with free fries, and he tells me how I’ll save $$ on food cause I can always take from the store. So I roll up with the hat on, and I’m on fries, and I'm fucking them up consistently. The customers know that I’m fucking up the fries but none of the other employees want to mess the crazy guy with the boiling vat of oil in his hand.

Its like you have to admire a guy like that. It takes balls. And perhaps that’s the new development in human evolution, BEING CRAZY!!! Maybe the crazy one is the one that survives. Could you imagine just doing that in all walks of life? Just showing up to an awards show after it's been announced that someone else won, and giving an acceptance speech. Or just walking up to a couple walking down the street and grabbing the woman by the hand and just walking away with her. CRAZY.

I think regular folks like you and me need to start running for office.

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5/25/03

today we leave for AZ and there is one less bird in the nest.
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5/11/03

the birds hatched today.

i would think this is too corny to be true... except it is.
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5/01/03

If we heard good news we wouldn’t know what to do with it.

If a 86 year old man drove from Philly to NY and made it home safe, that would not be news. But if that person crashed his car into a pickup truck and caused a pile up, then that’s news.

If a family had 2 healthy twins that's not news but if that same family put those children in a garbage bag, it's news.

What the exercise consists of, is you naming 10 good things for every bad thing u see in the news on tv or in the papers.

Go ahead.

(this is a good exercise for relationships, too)
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4/30/03

There are now 3 blue eggs in the nest.

Yesterday there was rain again, and wind. And the bird had left its nest for food, or building materials, or to puff a L, or whatever birds leave their nest for. The nest was swaying back and forth. But the bird trusted its architecture and trusted its work enough to leave its eggs in the nest during a storm.

They were fine.

Me and J have been thinking about what the universe has been trying to tell us with all that’s been going on. We tossed around the idea of perhaps doing Nothing this summer... which is an art all in itself. It involved complete trust in what we've already put out there.

We have been working the entire time we’ve been married. We were teaching a class that summer, and got married without even skipping the class (shout out to the first Writers' Block, lol.) We still haven’t gone on a honeymoon. Maybe it's time to trust the silence like the bird.

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4/22/03

My friends and I have been talking a lot lately about our current professional situations and why we all feel we are not where we need to be. The funny thing is that each of us thinks the others are DOING IT!

Last week there was a yellow popped balloon on the lawn. I could see it outside my window. It annoyed me, and I kept meaning to pick it up and throw it away, until I woke up one morning and it was hanging by its long yellow ribbon, from the little tree out side my window. The balloon part was hanging in mid air and the ribbon part led into the bush and was woven into a nest. A nest that I had been looking past the entire time it was being built… Looking out the window and only seeing this popped balloon on the lawn.

Perspective. We look past what’s in front of us to see what we want. We need to see with different eyes.

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