talking sh*t

5/27/04
When I was younger I used to always borrow my brother’s clothes. His clothes were always cooler than mine. For years I walked around literally in his shoes. Anytime I went to get shoes I just picked up size ten and a half’s because that’s what my brother wore; I’d been wearing it for years.

Then one time I went to buy shoes in downtown Brooklyn and the person at the store actually measured my feet. He gave me a look like I was crazy then proceeded to tell me my shoe size was a size 12. I remember the space, the warmth and comfort of the 12. I tried to put on the old shoe to leave the store but my foot had already become comfortable in the new one. The thought that ran through my mind instantly was “I lived my life in another person’s shoes and got used to the discomfort, I grew but my shoe didn’t.” I walked out of the store and it felt like the whole world was different, I walked taller my stride was longer and when I got home I remember looking at my feet and apologizing.

This memory hit me yesterday cause I bought some new shoes and they were size 13 and they fit better than the 12’s that I’ve been wearing for years.

There’s a message in that somewhere

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May 17, 2004
I just found out today that a group that I love is not getting back together, as I had been led to believe via rumor. At first I was a bit upset, then I was like when has a group coming back together been a good thing? Very rarely do groups ever recapture the magic (or relevance) they had when they originally came out and I’ve come to the idea that it's probably for the better. Think of how corny most comeback albums are, or worse yet groups that stay around so long they have nothing left to say.

People grow up and into different people. Often these hip hop groups formed when the members were in high school. Who in your high school do you still know... much less would you have chosen to spend the past ten years (or however long) riding in a tour bus together doing songs you wrote in gym class?

Death is a tragic thing however part of me is sort of glad some people aren’t around to disappoint me. I’m glad I'll never hear a shawn paul & bob marley song, or marvin gaye & justin timberlake duet. As dope as it might be, I don’t ever want to hear timberland produce minnie ripperton.

I’m just glad that they left us with hits and classics.
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May 10, 2004

"One eye man is king in blind mans country" It sounds a lot better when my grandmother said it in her Guynese accent than in looks on page.

I heard Bush say that “torture is un-American” I was like no it isn’t! Historically its very American. As a matter if fact wasn’t the biggest grossing movie this year (so far) about the torture of a middle eastern guy a couple of thousand years ago? It was so popular it was #1 twice.

… I don’t "HATE" bush. I don’t know him that well. I just think he SUCKS at his present job. He’d probably make a cool junior high school gym teacher. The kind that will let you wear swimming trunks instead of shorts and whatever t-shirt you want instead of the uniform however if he sent a bunch of kids running through poison ivy as a short cut through woods he’d probably lose his job at the very least parents wouldn’t trust his judgment.

But this isn’t poison ivy and this is not gym class this is war. A concept that I still honestly have trouble wrapping my head around. What’s at stake for the people sending other people off to die? Not their jobs? not their freedom or money? Why can’t we just put these politicians and leaders in a boxing ring and let them have it out? Better yet a steel cage match…two man enter one man leave…shit it can be a reality show…lol

For or against this war, we all need to make ourselves heard. Don’t be silent participate in this world. Its yours to after all.

I love you. have a great week

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may 9th 2004

Happy mothers day!

I always felt mothers day should be celebrated on the child’s day of birth and if you have more than one child you celebrate it more than once a year *shrug*

"DOING NOTHING" is harder than one might think. To lay still and feel no obligation to a project or an idea for me still takes effort. My knee is bouncing as I write this.

My mind has been on getting back to NY. There is no place in the world like Brooklyn in the summer, and this year I wont be in a basement editing! Me and J get to throw and go to events together and hopefully meet some of ya'll.

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