A friend of mine told me that I need to "dream bigger."
She was right, it's a common trap.
We (as adults) often can't see past the restrictions that experience has handed us thought the years. We dream with limits. Dream, and let the world limit you if it can.
The other thing you need to practice is having your own dream. If you wish for something someone else wants you will never be at peace.
|
She was right, it's a common trap.
We (as adults) often can't see past the restrictions that experience has handed us thought the years. We dream with limits. Dream, and let the world limit you if it can.
The other thing you need to practice is having your own dream. If you wish for something someone else wants you will never be at peace.
|
know your references
Obama X
In all the hubbub of the past few months, there was something very warm and familiar looking about Mr. Obama that I couldn't quite put my finger on... till now. check it out.
|
Media that matters
Until a couple of weeks ago i was living in blissful ignorance that a show like "flavor or love" even existed. I managed to sit through like 3 episodes and it really kinda bent me up inside. I was mad, astonished, sad, embarrassed and a whole bunch or other things all at once. I wont go into the details of the show but its on VH1 watch it if you dare but i will use no more of this blog space describing the misogynistic coonery that passes for entertainment.
Needless to say i was a bit worried about the future and the current state of how black people (in particular) are imagined in the public mythology. Then i saw 2 things that made my heart open back up. the first was an extra on the DVD for Spike Lee's "Inside man" the extra is called "4" and basically it's Spike and Denzel talking to each other about film. It was like watching 2 old men talking over a game of chess.
The second thing I saw was on the "media that matters" website(http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/). There are several great entries but the one that made me jump around the room was one called "a girl like me" by Kiri Davis...this is the link to her short http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/index.php?id=2
it felt good to see people that young take an interest in what’s going on around them and actively create alternatives.
make the world you want to live in.
|
Whats LOVE got ta do...got ta do with it?
6/15/06
Here we are with summer around the corner and you know what that means. It's WEDDING SEASON!
As fate would have it i was looking through old folders on my computer and came across the outline for what was to be the follow up book to "bullshit or fertilizer" its called "the Book of LIKE: know hard feelings" and it's about love & relationships, approached with the same no bullshit tactics as the 1st book. i chose not to release it because at the time i felt that would be a bit obnoxious to assume what works for me is THE right way. i gathered that from the opening disclaimer, which is so far one of the longest and most fully written sections of the book. i am by no means an expert however what is compiled is (in my opinion) some really great collected wisdom.
well in the intervening years between writing and rediscovering this material, i have been blessed to be privy to a lot of sob stories dealing with relationships. knowing that not everything works for everyboby and that i am still entitled to my opinion, i have chosen to release the book. i can only hope this book does for relationships whats BS or F did for those on the hustle: support, affirm, inspire, and make folks think. i have alot of rewriting and editing to do, not to mention some illustrations but my goal is to have it out by Valentines day 2007.
i humbly ask those of you who read this blog to hit me up (here or at info-at-exittheapple.com) with ideas, questions, or situations that you feel would be worth addressing in such a volume.
here's a quick nugget: if you're thinking about getting married, and you're still asking if you should? then you probably shouldn't.
|
Whatever you do, "don't hug the TAR BABY"
May 20 2006
Ok so since i seem to be ahead of the curve on the "tar baby" thing,
(see my post from about a month ago) I’d like to talk for a moment about voting.
I tell this to people all the time when they say they don’t think their vote matters: It’s not about now it’s about tomorrow. It’s about being on the record.
Actually I feel it’s a direct dis to our ancestors and those of all color who fought and died for the right. You could vote it for no other reason than to pay homage. Even if they don’t count it, it doesn’t take long.
My question to you hard core, bitter non voters who want change, is what are you doing that’s more or as effective as voting. What are you doing that voting would hinder or destroy your efforts?
Believe it or not, there is such a thing as the lesser of 2 evils… it’s not what I want but it is what is. I’m sure enslaved black people and white abolitionists could have just waited for the perfect person to come into office before they started agitating, resisting, escaping, protesting - but they didn’t. They did what they could, every minute they could.
Now. About the "Tar Baby" situation.
From cnn.com:
Snow's briefing also produced a couple of backpedals, several pointed rejoinders -- and at least one turn of phrase that raised eyebrows.
Asked repeatedly about reports that the government has collected records on millions of Americans' phone calls, Snow said, "I don't want to hug the tarbaby of trying to comment on the program, the alleged program, the existence of which I can neither confirm nor deny."
The expression, which refers to a character in the most famous of the fictional Uncle Remus stories, is sometimes used to portray an inextricable situation. But, as the word also has been used as a derogatory term for blacks, it raised eyebrows when spoken from the White House podium.
Snow’s statement was inappropriate, insensitive, and offensive.
Later in the briefing, Snow was asked what he meant. "Well, I believe 'hug the tarbaby,' we could trace that back to American lore," he said
Racist ass Uncle Remus... WORD? ‘American lore’ has a lot of potential references to describe the position he was in. He chose the most incendiary one possible. Why?
The hubbub around the term has obscured the question he was dodging… probably one of the most important things to be talked about in the entire press conference.
This guy is no dummy
He works on television
He worked for FOX
He knows words and how they work
This was his first press conference, and he says something so wildly inappropriate that everyone focuses on the “bad word” and not on the issue he was “not going to hug” –
The NSA
Spying on you
And while we bicker over this phrase, the constitution is being shredded before our eyes
If you want to be offended, be offended by the dministration’s appalling response to Katrina and the fact that it might happen again this year
Be offended that the dollar is worth less
Be offended that the cultural reference that Snow made will be wasted on a country full of barely literate people of all races that are currently going through the public school system.
Exercise your rights before you get flabby
And stay focused
|
a really smart bomb
5/2/06
My jaw is still on the floor after seeing this on C-SPAN the other day.
The speech Steve Colbert gave at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner was awesome if for no other reason that people he was satirizing were all in the room. Here is a link to thankyoustephencolbert.org, a site with links to the performance, transcripts, etc.
|
Casual Niggas
4/17/06
Over the past few months I’ve been watching several historical films that deal with race in America (a solders story, crazy in Alabama, glory, in the heat of the night) and at the same time have been mulling over in my head the use by both public figures, my friends and myself of the word “nigga”
What is it about that word that’s so attractive?
Why is it ok to say it on TV and you cant say “shit?”
It’s supposed to be such an ugly word but it feels like it’s becoming increasingly common in our pop culture. My mind instantly flashes to a club that my friend took me to that was populated primarily with white people who where all dancing and having a good time and then the DJ spun the #1 song in America at the time which was “gold digger” by Kanye West. Everyone went crazy, as was the tradition at the time and started singing the song VERY LOUD! Tension built as the hook approached and to every ones credit no one said “nigger” but Kanye.
Which brings me to the question why? Why is ok for any one to use it? I mean, sure we can say whatever we want I’m not challenging that. I’m challenging the hypocrisy of it being called an ugly word but still being used casually. I don’t know how many interviews and talk show appearances I have heard people/artists say “when you use it enough it takes the power out of it” or “we use it for a term of endearment”
2 thoughts run through my mind
#1 we still got a lot of healing to do(not just black but this entire country)
#2 we are not being creative enough.
There were several words besides “nigger” that were used to denigrate and demean us that I feel should be used more often until the power is taken out of them, as well. Here’s a short list
- spade
- jigga bo
- tar baby
- egg plant
- spook
- sambo
- chimp
- ape
- snow flake
- spear chucker
- booty scratcher
- coon
Really try substituting those words in your mind for how you’ve herd the word nigga used.
“yo, that’s my Jigga bo”
"where my tar babies at?"
“all the real fly coons throw your hands up”
“ I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger be she ain’t messing wit’ no broke spear chuckers”
See. Its got a little sting to it that I think “nigger” has lost…and if all else fails emphasize the “ER” that was at the end of “nigga” before it was dropped for the “A”
|
"i've got so much trouble on my mind..."
hey true believers. there is alot going on in the world as you well know and i hope you are out there doing your part to build or destroy. everytime i see or hear this MC and i can let some one know about him, i try to do so. this is Immortal Technique speaking in California recently, the second link is him answering questions.
i would love to hear your thoughts on what he's talking about.
Statement to the press
Q&A
thanks Davey D
|
what do Sidney Poitier and '36 Mafia' have in common?
An oscar, apparently.
Before I rant, let me just say that 90% of everything is bullshit. I forgot who told me that but it holds true. Test it if you don’t believe me. It's probably why I have such a small circle of friends. That thought rang thought my head along with the last note to the Oscar award winning song as performed that night. “It's hard out here for a pimp.” As she held that note my heart shattered like a wine glass.
Yall, I didn’t plan to watch the award show. The house was a mess and we decided
to put on the TV as background noise as we cleaned up. We happened to pass the tv at the same time as the performance began, complete with choreographed pimps whores and Johns. We both watched in AWE as they won an award. And then, QUEEN Latifah - your name cant get more black than that - the author of ladies first, and UNITY) followed them to present an award and said nothing to acknowledge the sickness that preceeded.
Now the Oscars are not my show so they can award whom ever they please, however it was crazy to see that mythology affirmed in such a global public way.
Quick query. Why don’t “conscious” rappers get in to battles with corporate sponsored “gangsta” rappers? Oh and just so no one says I didn’t offer an alternative…if you still listen to hip-hop and want to hear some thing gangsta, check out Immortal Technique.
Bush (and all of the corporate sponsored politicians) knew about Katrina. It's on video tape. So stay focused... an Oscar pales in comparison to the crimes that are being committed in this country daily. We must value ourselves and our image. No one feels compassion for a pimp no matter how hard out there it is for him. Let's broaden our mythology so next time (omnipotent life force forbid) we are wading though water looking for food to survive, we are not labeled looters.
First Octavia passes and now this? "Are we living in Parable of the Sower already? Was my first thought. Then my next thought was "perhaps I should douse myself in gasoline and set myself on fire" BUT with the price of gas being so crazy right now I would hate to waste that on little ole me. My very next thought went to what am I doing artistically right now?
Then I thought, well we do have EXITTHEAPPLE. But sometimes I feel dwarfed by the corporate sponsored rap group that is only a drop in the ocean of wack shit out there representing us. For as many people as there are who come though this site, more connections should be made. I KNOW for a fact that there are folks who come to this site or attend our events whose life works compliment each other but never cross paths.
And I’m guilty of over working and never acknowleding that stuff has actually been done. And people do meet and accomplish things so to that end I do want to thank those of you who do put forth the effort and occasionally shout us out. It helps…however what do we do NOW?
Right now I’m going to finish these scripts I’ve been working on.
As for you my fellow exiters/nerds ask yourself what have you done, what can you do, and are you part of the 90%? Be honest. No pain no gain. The struggle continues.
Peace
|
read
first of all i really want to thank all of those who showed up and danced HARD through the night at the first gig i ever spun in maryland. we will continue to do it at that spot on the 1st Saturday of every month. more info is here; click for it.
a book store just opened up in our neighborhood and me and my wife went and spent hours buying new books. walking home from the store with the heavy books I started thinking about what an amazing thing it is to be able to read. And how at one time in this county it was ILLEGAL for blacks to read; in some cases an offense punishable by death.
So when I got home started reading everything, every little thing I could. I came across a manual for a vacuum cleaner we just got and to my surprise I came across the following quote:
"The cords, wires and/or cables supplied with the product contain chemicals, including lead or lead compounds, known to the state of california to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after using."
WTF!!!!! wash my hands after using my vacuum? needless to say it is sitting on the curb awaiting trash pick up
on martin luther king day i decided to read the 13th amendment. and something stood out to me
"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, EXCEPT as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
EXCEPT? WTF!!! it made me think about the prison industrial complex and how many of us that have been put through the system don’t even have the right to vote. i think the # is something like 13%
then for some reason i thought about lil kim. i don’t know why but i felt the need to write her. i also thought alot about how important celebrity has become and I’ve always felt like fame/celebrity was such a weird American construct and also how important it has been to black folks.
I’ve always wanted to have a group called “RAB” - Regular Ass Blackfolk. our mission would be to befriend folks as they get more popular and keep them grounded. invite them to our houses, where they would sleep on the couch, send them to the bodega for some chips and make fun of their clothing; but most importantly just talk to them and listen honestly. I am going to write her… not sure what. Whatever it is it’s going to be kind. No self righteous bullshit just whatever’s on my mind. If you want to write her here’s the address:
Kimberly Jones 56198-054
FDC Philadelphia
Federal Detention Center
P.O. BOX 562
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Then yesterday george w bush appoints a judge to the highest court of the land for the sole purpose of reversing roe vs wade; the next day Coretta Scott King dies. i think that means something. Those of you who don’t think they can outlaw women’s right to choose forget that women only recently got the right to vote. Read between the lines.
ps if anyone has abbey lincoln's info holla
|
Do The Write Thing
12/30/02
Let me preface what I’m about to say by saying I don’t watch Television often so if what I’m about to describe is normal and my reaction to it is over the top its because I’m unaccustomed to what is probably considered normal right now.
The scene opens up on two young men sitting in a parked car. One is black the other is white. The black guy is holding a container filled with chicken pieces. As he is about to eat a piece of chicken his friend (the white guy) cautions him against eating a piece chicken now and just as he's about to suggest a proper time and place his friend pops the piece of chicken into his mouth. Suddenly you hear sirens and then fire trucks pull up out of nowhere. Fire men run out of the trucks hook up hoses to hydrants then proceed to point the hoses in the faces of the two men through the window of the parked car and turn them on full blast. Then they cut away to the voice over and the pitch of the ad describes what a great deal you are getting by purchasing this chicken. When we cut back to our 2 “protagonists” drenched in the car. The black guy leans over apologetically to say something only to be cut off by his friend telling him very coldly to get out of the car. The end.
Now usually I would go on in a million directions about what I felt was wrong with that but I wont waste my time on the obvious. Instead I’m going to cut to the chase and offer what I feel is an answer.
The problem for me is not necessarily those images as it is the lack of alternatives. So this goes out to you.
Yeah you reading this right now.
If you as tired of this bullsh*t as I am, take a camera and MAKE SOMETHING. Please… If you’re a writer or just have an idea and need to learn structure I urge you to check this site out click around and read what you feel applies to you
http://lifewrite.com/
|
John Henry style
12/9/05
Today I woke up to a banging on my door. Not your normal Jehovah witness, UPS drop off polite knocking. Its was a heavy side of your fist Poe Poe drug bust knocking. This was the first sound I heard this morning at 300:00 that’s right folks 300:00 I didn’t even know that such an hour existed until this morning.
Apparently some young “entrepreneur” was roaming the neighborhood (with a DIGGING shovel) offing his snow shoveling skills for a small fee. Which I’m all for.
However I am a new homeowner and this is my first snow so I got dressed got my bright orange SNOW shovel and went to shovel my walk way. On my way out I saw the young man shoveling my neighbors walk. I being a new person in the neighborhood, wanting to show good will and that I wasn’t bitter about the pounding he put on my door turned to him and said “hey, good morning” I waved and smiled and every thing.
his reaction: This kid ICE grilled me like I threw dodo at his mama. I got so pissed that he looked at me like that, that after I finished shoveling my walk way I shoveled the walkway of the next 3 houses and wrecked his whole hustle. I was actually done with those 3 and my own before he was done with his one. The smile that I gave him while walking into my house and tapping the excess snow off my boots …priceless.
|
Ketchup
The intent of an artist is to affect the viewer. I remember seeing scary movies as a child and my brother telling me that all blood in movies was ketchup. It helped me understand that there was more than one truth and that no matter what I saw on the big screen, it was a trick to effect me. After that, I was able to watch just about any movie.
The ability of artists to manipulate feelings has been more apparent to me of recent. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the new projects I’m in the middle of, or all that’s been in the news since last I’ve written.
One often-forwarded image in the immediate aftermath of hurricane Katrina was a composite of two photographs side by side that had been taken from the yahoo news website. In one, a young black boy is wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and is described as a looter. In the other photo, two young white people are wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and the caption describes them as having “found food.” A photographer took that picture, a writer wrote those words. It’s ‘ketchup.’
Kanye West saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on TV - that close to the release of his album - was a big old splash of ketchup that got people’s attention.
Sometimes I forget that however crude, this is all done by design to produce an effect. Ketchup.
Speaking of which, I was part of what I’d like to call a live performance piece this year. Right before the storm, I was LEGALLY searched by NYPD on the long island railroad. Ever since it became legal to search civilians, there have been armed troops, as well as police, all over the commuter rail and subway stations. I was coming back from teaching class. I was wearing a kufi, glasses; a "black nerds unite" t-shirt a backpack full of my students work. I was holding a digital camera (I was teaching documentary filmmaking.) Apparently, that’s terrorist attire. Two cops descended upon me while 2 others watched from a distance and a troop armed with an automatic paced up and down. I won’t get into the details but just know that it was embarrassing, and to top it all off they held my train door open until they were finished. The crowd around me and the crowd on the train treated me like it was 1983 and I shouted out I have AIDS. People switching seats and averting glances. Clearly it was an effective performance… however I don’t know who felt safer after that.
At least they didn’t shoot first, like they did to that dude in London.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear… to know that it’s all ketchup. I wont front … I haven’t worn my kufi out as much since that performance … which I know is wack. Because when we change in even those simple ways we give others the affirmation they need to further deny reality/truth.
And what’s truth. The truth is that we (human beings) are always on the brink of death. The truth is, we are a frail and mighty species with no claws, wings or fangs. The truth is we are full of contradictions right down to our design…our up right posture corrupts our spine. The truth is that safety is the illusion.
Finally. Bush’s reaction to the storm made me think of Batman’s character in the movie “Batman Begins” when he said, “I won’t kill you but I don’t have to save you”
Then I thought of all the things that have kept me from being a batman fan. There’s the fact that he’s this rich guy with no superpowers that lives in a mansion and decides to go out at night and fight crime ungoverned by the rules of law. He never deals with white-collar crime but instead opts to swing from rooftops knocking out bank robbers and masked lunatics. He never for once sees himself as a lawbreaker and is never questioned for living with young “boy wards.”
…That aside 'batman begins' was the best batman flick I’ve seen :)
|
...
I wish something I had to say was as important as what’s been going on.
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
It's hard out here for a pimple
July 4th 2005
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
Last night changed it all (dropped the ball PART 2)
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
In all the hubbub of the past few months, there was something very warm and familiar looking about Mr. Obama that I couldn't quite put my finger on... till now. check it out.
|
Media that matters
Until a couple of weeks ago i was living in blissful ignorance that a show like "flavor or love" even existed. I managed to sit through like 3 episodes and it really kinda bent me up inside. I was mad, astonished, sad, embarrassed and a whole bunch or other things all at once. I wont go into the details of the show but its on VH1 watch it if you dare but i will use no more of this blog space describing the misogynistic coonery that passes for entertainment.
Needless to say i was a bit worried about the future and the current state of how black people (in particular) are imagined in the public mythology. Then i saw 2 things that made my heart open back up. the first was an extra on the DVD for Spike Lee's "Inside man" the extra is called "4" and basically it's Spike and Denzel talking to each other about film. It was like watching 2 old men talking over a game of chess.
The second thing I saw was on the "media that matters" website(http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/). There are several great entries but the one that made me jump around the room was one called "a girl like me" by Kiri Davis...this is the link to her short http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/index.php?id=2
it felt good to see people that young take an interest in what’s going on around them and actively create alternatives.
make the world you want to live in.
|
Whats LOVE got ta do...got ta do with it?
6/15/06
Here we are with summer around the corner and you know what that means. It's WEDDING SEASON!
As fate would have it i was looking through old folders on my computer and came across the outline for what was to be the follow up book to "bullshit or fertilizer" its called "the Book of LIKE: know hard feelings" and it's about love & relationships, approached with the same no bullshit tactics as the 1st book. i chose not to release it because at the time i felt that would be a bit obnoxious to assume what works for me is THE right way. i gathered that from the opening disclaimer, which is so far one of the longest and most fully written sections of the book. i am by no means an expert however what is compiled is (in my opinion) some really great collected wisdom.
well in the intervening years between writing and rediscovering this material, i have been blessed to be privy to a lot of sob stories dealing with relationships. knowing that not everything works for everyboby and that i am still entitled to my opinion, i have chosen to release the book. i can only hope this book does for relationships whats BS or F did for those on the hustle: support, affirm, inspire, and make folks think. i have alot of rewriting and editing to do, not to mention some illustrations but my goal is to have it out by Valentines day 2007.
i humbly ask those of you who read this blog to hit me up (here or at info-at-exittheapple.com) with ideas, questions, or situations that you feel would be worth addressing in such a volume.
here's a quick nugget: if you're thinking about getting married, and you're still asking if you should? then you probably shouldn't.
|
Whatever you do, "don't hug the TAR BABY"
May 20 2006
Ok so since i seem to be ahead of the curve on the "tar baby" thing,
(see my post from about a month ago) I’d like to talk for a moment about voting.
I tell this to people all the time when they say they don’t think their vote matters: It’s not about now it’s about tomorrow. It’s about being on the record.
Actually I feel it’s a direct dis to our ancestors and those of all color who fought and died for the right. You could vote it for no other reason than to pay homage. Even if they don’t count it, it doesn’t take long.
My question to you hard core, bitter non voters who want change, is what are you doing that’s more or as effective as voting. What are you doing that voting would hinder or destroy your efforts?
Believe it or not, there is such a thing as the lesser of 2 evils… it’s not what I want but it is what is. I’m sure enslaved black people and white abolitionists could have just waited for the perfect person to come into office before they started agitating, resisting, escaping, protesting - but they didn’t. They did what they could, every minute they could.
Now. About the "Tar Baby" situation.
From cnn.com:
Snow's briefing also produced a couple of backpedals, several pointed rejoinders -- and at least one turn of phrase that raised eyebrows.
Asked repeatedly about reports that the government has collected records on millions of Americans' phone calls, Snow said, "I don't want to hug the tarbaby of trying to comment on the program, the alleged program, the existence of which I can neither confirm nor deny."
The expression, which refers to a character in the most famous of the fictional Uncle Remus stories, is sometimes used to portray an inextricable situation. But, as the word also has been used as a derogatory term for blacks, it raised eyebrows when spoken from the White House podium.
Snow’s statement was inappropriate, insensitive, and offensive.
Later in the briefing, Snow was asked what he meant. "Well, I believe 'hug the tarbaby,' we could trace that back to American lore," he said
Racist ass Uncle Remus... WORD? ‘American lore’ has a lot of potential references to describe the position he was in. He chose the most incendiary one possible. Why?
The hubbub around the term has obscured the question he was dodging… probably one of the most important things to be talked about in the entire press conference.
This guy is no dummy
He works on television
He worked for FOX
He knows words and how they work
This was his first press conference, and he says something so wildly inappropriate that everyone focuses on the “bad word” and not on the issue he was “not going to hug” –
The NSA
Spying on you
And while we bicker over this phrase, the constitution is being shredded before our eyes
If you want to be offended, be offended by the dministration’s appalling response to Katrina and the fact that it might happen again this year
Be offended that the dollar is worth less
Be offended that the cultural reference that Snow made will be wasted on a country full of barely literate people of all races that are currently going through the public school system.
Exercise your rights before you get flabby
And stay focused
|
a really smart bomb
5/2/06
My jaw is still on the floor after seeing this on C-SPAN the other day.
The speech Steve Colbert gave at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner was awesome if for no other reason that people he was satirizing were all in the room. Here is a link to thankyoustephencolbert.org, a site with links to the performance, transcripts, etc.
|
Casual Niggas
4/17/06
Over the past few months I’ve been watching several historical films that deal with race in America (a solders story, crazy in Alabama, glory, in the heat of the night) and at the same time have been mulling over in my head the use by both public figures, my friends and myself of the word “nigga”
What is it about that word that’s so attractive?
Why is it ok to say it on TV and you cant say “shit?”
It’s supposed to be such an ugly word but it feels like it’s becoming increasingly common in our pop culture. My mind instantly flashes to a club that my friend took me to that was populated primarily with white people who where all dancing and having a good time and then the DJ spun the #1 song in America at the time which was “gold digger” by Kanye West. Everyone went crazy, as was the tradition at the time and started singing the song VERY LOUD! Tension built as the hook approached and to every ones credit no one said “nigger” but Kanye.
Which brings me to the question why? Why is ok for any one to use it? I mean, sure we can say whatever we want I’m not challenging that. I’m challenging the hypocrisy of it being called an ugly word but still being used casually. I don’t know how many interviews and talk show appearances I have heard people/artists say “when you use it enough it takes the power out of it” or “we use it for a term of endearment”
2 thoughts run through my mind
#1 we still got a lot of healing to do(not just black but this entire country)
#2 we are not being creative enough.
There were several words besides “nigger” that were used to denigrate and demean us that I feel should be used more often until the power is taken out of them, as well. Here’s a short list
- spade
- jigga bo
- tar baby
- egg plant
- spook
- sambo
- chimp
- ape
- snow flake
- spear chucker
- booty scratcher
- coon
Really try substituting those words in your mind for how you’ve herd the word nigga used.
“yo, that’s my Jigga bo”
"where my tar babies at?"
“all the real fly coons throw your hands up”
“ I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger be she ain’t messing wit’ no broke spear chuckers”
See. Its got a little sting to it that I think “nigger” has lost…and if all else fails emphasize the “ER” that was at the end of “nigga” before it was dropped for the “A”
|
"i've got so much trouble on my mind..."
hey true believers. there is alot going on in the world as you well know and i hope you are out there doing your part to build or destroy. everytime i see or hear this MC and i can let some one know about him, i try to do so. this is Immortal Technique speaking in California recently, the second link is him answering questions.
i would love to hear your thoughts on what he's talking about.
Statement to the press
Q&A
thanks Davey D
|
what do Sidney Poitier and '36 Mafia' have in common?
An oscar, apparently.
Before I rant, let me just say that 90% of everything is bullshit. I forgot who told me that but it holds true. Test it if you don’t believe me. It's probably why I have such a small circle of friends. That thought rang thought my head along with the last note to the Oscar award winning song as performed that night. “It's hard out here for a pimp.” As she held that note my heart shattered like a wine glass.
Yall, I didn’t plan to watch the award show. The house was a mess and we decided
to put on the TV as background noise as we cleaned up. We happened to pass the tv at the same time as the performance began, complete with choreographed pimps whores and Johns. We both watched in AWE as they won an award. And then, QUEEN Latifah - your name cant get more black than that - the author of ladies first, and UNITY) followed them to present an award and said nothing to acknowledge the sickness that preceeded.
Now the Oscars are not my show so they can award whom ever they please, however it was crazy to see that mythology affirmed in such a global public way.
Quick query. Why don’t “conscious” rappers get in to battles with corporate sponsored “gangsta” rappers? Oh and just so no one says I didn’t offer an alternative…if you still listen to hip-hop and want to hear some thing gangsta, check out Immortal Technique.
Bush (and all of the corporate sponsored politicians) knew about Katrina. It's on video tape. So stay focused... an Oscar pales in comparison to the crimes that are being committed in this country daily. We must value ourselves and our image. No one feels compassion for a pimp no matter how hard out there it is for him. Let's broaden our mythology so next time (omnipotent life force forbid) we are wading though water looking for food to survive, we are not labeled looters.
First Octavia passes and now this? "Are we living in Parable of the Sower already? Was my first thought. Then my next thought was "perhaps I should douse myself in gasoline and set myself on fire" BUT with the price of gas being so crazy right now I would hate to waste that on little ole me. My very next thought went to what am I doing artistically right now?
Then I thought, well we do have EXITTHEAPPLE. But sometimes I feel dwarfed by the corporate sponsored rap group that is only a drop in the ocean of wack shit out there representing us. For as many people as there are who come though this site, more connections should be made. I KNOW for a fact that there are folks who come to this site or attend our events whose life works compliment each other but never cross paths.
And I’m guilty of over working and never acknowleding that stuff has actually been done. And people do meet and accomplish things so to that end I do want to thank those of you who do put forth the effort and occasionally shout us out. It helps…however what do we do NOW?
Right now I’m going to finish these scripts I’ve been working on.
As for you my fellow exiters/nerds ask yourself what have you done, what can you do, and are you part of the 90%? Be honest. No pain no gain. The struggle continues.
Peace
|
read
first of all i really want to thank all of those who showed up and danced HARD through the night at the first gig i ever spun in maryland. we will continue to do it at that spot on the 1st Saturday of every month. more info is here; click for it.
a book store just opened up in our neighborhood and me and my wife went and spent hours buying new books. walking home from the store with the heavy books I started thinking about what an amazing thing it is to be able to read. And how at one time in this county it was ILLEGAL for blacks to read; in some cases an offense punishable by death.
So when I got home started reading everything, every little thing I could. I came across a manual for a vacuum cleaner we just got and to my surprise I came across the following quote:
"The cords, wires and/or cables supplied with the product contain chemicals, including lead or lead compounds, known to the state of california to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after using."
WTF!!!!! wash my hands after using my vacuum? needless to say it is sitting on the curb awaiting trash pick up
on martin luther king day i decided to read the 13th amendment. and something stood out to me
"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, EXCEPT as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
EXCEPT? WTF!!! it made me think about the prison industrial complex and how many of us that have been put through the system don’t even have the right to vote. i think the # is something like 13%
then for some reason i thought about lil kim. i don’t know why but i felt the need to write her. i also thought alot about how important celebrity has become and I’ve always felt like fame/celebrity was such a weird American construct and also how important it has been to black folks.
I’ve always wanted to have a group called “RAB” - Regular Ass Blackfolk. our mission would be to befriend folks as they get more popular and keep them grounded. invite them to our houses, where they would sleep on the couch, send them to the bodega for some chips and make fun of their clothing; but most importantly just talk to them and listen honestly. I am going to write her… not sure what. Whatever it is it’s going to be kind. No self righteous bullshit just whatever’s on my mind. If you want to write her here’s the address:
Kimberly Jones 56198-054
FDC Philadelphia
Federal Detention Center
P.O. BOX 562
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Then yesterday george w bush appoints a judge to the highest court of the land for the sole purpose of reversing roe vs wade; the next day Coretta Scott King dies. i think that means something. Those of you who don’t think they can outlaw women’s right to choose forget that women only recently got the right to vote. Read between the lines.
ps if anyone has abbey lincoln's info holla
|
Do The Write Thing
12/30/02
Let me preface what I’m about to say by saying I don’t watch Television often so if what I’m about to describe is normal and my reaction to it is over the top its because I’m unaccustomed to what is probably considered normal right now.
The scene opens up on two young men sitting in a parked car. One is black the other is white. The black guy is holding a container filled with chicken pieces. As he is about to eat a piece of chicken his friend (the white guy) cautions him against eating a piece chicken now and just as he's about to suggest a proper time and place his friend pops the piece of chicken into his mouth. Suddenly you hear sirens and then fire trucks pull up out of nowhere. Fire men run out of the trucks hook up hoses to hydrants then proceed to point the hoses in the faces of the two men through the window of the parked car and turn them on full blast. Then they cut away to the voice over and the pitch of the ad describes what a great deal you are getting by purchasing this chicken. When we cut back to our 2 “protagonists” drenched in the car. The black guy leans over apologetically to say something only to be cut off by his friend telling him very coldly to get out of the car. The end.
Now usually I would go on in a million directions about what I felt was wrong with that but I wont waste my time on the obvious. Instead I’m going to cut to the chase and offer what I feel is an answer.
The problem for me is not necessarily those images as it is the lack of alternatives. So this goes out to you.
Yeah you reading this right now.
If you as tired of this bullsh*t as I am, take a camera and MAKE SOMETHING. Please… If you’re a writer or just have an idea and need to learn structure I urge you to check this site out click around and read what you feel applies to you
http://lifewrite.com/
|
John Henry style
12/9/05
Today I woke up to a banging on my door. Not your normal Jehovah witness, UPS drop off polite knocking. Its was a heavy side of your fist Poe Poe drug bust knocking. This was the first sound I heard this morning at 300:00 that’s right folks 300:00 I didn’t even know that such an hour existed until this morning.
Apparently some young “entrepreneur” was roaming the neighborhood (with a DIGGING shovel) offing his snow shoveling skills for a small fee. Which I’m all for.
However I am a new homeowner and this is my first snow so I got dressed got my bright orange SNOW shovel and went to shovel my walk way. On my way out I saw the young man shoveling my neighbors walk. I being a new person in the neighborhood, wanting to show good will and that I wasn’t bitter about the pounding he put on my door turned to him and said “hey, good morning” I waved and smiled and every thing.
his reaction: This kid ICE grilled me like I threw dodo at his mama. I got so pissed that he looked at me like that, that after I finished shoveling my walk way I shoveled the walkway of the next 3 houses and wrecked his whole hustle. I was actually done with those 3 and my own before he was done with his one. The smile that I gave him while walking into my house and tapping the excess snow off my boots …priceless.
|
Ketchup
The intent of an artist is to affect the viewer. I remember seeing scary movies as a child and my brother telling me that all blood in movies was ketchup. It helped me understand that there was more than one truth and that no matter what I saw on the big screen, it was a trick to effect me. After that, I was able to watch just about any movie.
The ability of artists to manipulate feelings has been more apparent to me of recent. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the new projects I’m in the middle of, or all that’s been in the news since last I’ve written.
One often-forwarded image in the immediate aftermath of hurricane Katrina was a composite of two photographs side by side that had been taken from the yahoo news website. In one, a young black boy is wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and is described as a looter. In the other photo, two young white people are wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and the caption describes them as having “found food.” A photographer took that picture, a writer wrote those words. It’s ‘ketchup.’
Kanye West saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on TV - that close to the release of his album - was a big old splash of ketchup that got people’s attention.
Sometimes I forget that however crude, this is all done by design to produce an effect. Ketchup.
Speaking of which, I was part of what I’d like to call a live performance piece this year. Right before the storm, I was LEGALLY searched by NYPD on the long island railroad. Ever since it became legal to search civilians, there have been armed troops, as well as police, all over the commuter rail and subway stations. I was coming back from teaching class. I was wearing a kufi, glasses; a "black nerds unite" t-shirt a backpack full of my students work. I was holding a digital camera (I was teaching documentary filmmaking.) Apparently, that’s terrorist attire. Two cops descended upon me while 2 others watched from a distance and a troop armed with an automatic paced up and down. I won’t get into the details but just know that it was embarrassing, and to top it all off they held my train door open until they were finished. The crowd around me and the crowd on the train treated me like it was 1983 and I shouted out I have AIDS. People switching seats and averting glances. Clearly it was an effective performance… however I don’t know who felt safer after that.
At least they didn’t shoot first, like they did to that dude in London.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear… to know that it’s all ketchup. I wont front … I haven’t worn my kufi out as much since that performance … which I know is wack. Because when we change in even those simple ways we give others the affirmation they need to further deny reality/truth.
And what’s truth. The truth is that we (human beings) are always on the brink of death. The truth is, we are a frail and mighty species with no claws, wings or fangs. The truth is we are full of contradictions right down to our design…our up right posture corrupts our spine. The truth is that safety is the illusion.
Finally. Bush’s reaction to the storm made me think of Batman’s character in the movie “Batman Begins” when he said, “I won’t kill you but I don’t have to save you”
Then I thought of all the things that have kept me from being a batman fan. There’s the fact that he’s this rich guy with no superpowers that lives in a mansion and decides to go out at night and fight crime ungoverned by the rules of law. He never deals with white-collar crime but instead opts to swing from rooftops knocking out bank robbers and masked lunatics. He never for once sees himself as a lawbreaker and is never questioned for living with young “boy wards.”
…That aside 'batman begins' was the best batman flick I’ve seen :)
|
...
I wish something I had to say was as important as what’s been going on.
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
It's hard out here for a pimple
July 4th 2005
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
Last night changed it all (dropped the ball PART 2)
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
Needless to say i was a bit worried about the future and the current state of how black people (in particular) are imagined in the public mythology. Then i saw 2 things that made my heart open back up. the first was an extra on the DVD for Spike Lee's "Inside man" the extra is called "4" and basically it's Spike and Denzel talking to each other about film. It was like watching 2 old men talking over a game of chess.
The second thing I saw was on the "media that matters" website(http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/). There are several great entries but the one that made me jump around the room was one called "a girl like me" by Kiri Davis...this is the link to her short http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/index.php?id=2
it felt good to see people that young take an interest in what’s going on around them and actively create alternatives.
make the world you want to live in.
|
6/15/06
Here we are with summer around the corner and you know what that means. It's WEDDING SEASON!
As fate would have it i was looking through old folders on my computer and came across the outline for what was to be the follow up book to "bullshit or fertilizer" its called "the Book of LIKE: know hard feelings" and it's about love & relationships, approached with the same no bullshit tactics as the 1st book. i chose not to release it because at the time i felt that would be a bit obnoxious to assume what works for me is THE right way. i gathered that from the opening disclaimer, which is so far one of the longest and most fully written sections of the book. i am by no means an expert however what is compiled is (in my opinion) some really great collected wisdom.
well in the intervening years between writing and rediscovering this material, i have been blessed to be privy to a lot of sob stories dealing with relationships. knowing that not everything works for everyboby and that i am still entitled to my opinion, i have chosen to release the book. i can only hope this book does for relationships whats BS or F did for those on the hustle: support, affirm, inspire, and make folks think. i have alot of rewriting and editing to do, not to mention some illustrations but my goal is to have it out by Valentines day 2007.
i humbly ask those of you who read this blog to hit me up (here or at info-at-exittheapple.com) with ideas, questions, or situations that you feel would be worth addressing in such a volume.
here's a quick nugget: if you're thinking about getting married, and you're still asking if you should? then you probably shouldn't.
|
Here we are with summer around the corner and you know what that means. It's WEDDING SEASON!
As fate would have it i was looking through old folders on my computer and came across the outline for what was to be the follow up book to "bullshit or fertilizer" its called "the Book of LIKE: know hard feelings" and it's about love & relationships, approached with the same no bullshit tactics as the 1st book. i chose not to release it because at the time i felt that would be a bit obnoxious to assume what works for me is THE right way. i gathered that from the opening disclaimer, which is so far one of the longest and most fully written sections of the book. i am by no means an expert however what is compiled is (in my opinion) some really great collected wisdom.
well in the intervening years between writing and rediscovering this material, i have been blessed to be privy to a lot of sob stories dealing with relationships. knowing that not everything works for everyboby and that i am still entitled to my opinion, i have chosen to release the book. i can only hope this book does for relationships whats BS or F did for those on the hustle: support, affirm, inspire, and make folks think. i have alot of rewriting and editing to do, not to mention some illustrations but my goal is to have it out by Valentines day 2007.
i humbly ask those of you who read this blog to hit me up (here or at info-at-exittheapple.com) with ideas, questions, or situations that you feel would be worth addressing in such a volume.
here's a quick nugget: if you're thinking about getting married, and you're still asking if you should? then you probably shouldn't.
|
Whatever you do, "don't hug the TAR BABY"
May 20 2006
Ok so since i seem to be ahead of the curve on the "tar baby" thing,
(see my post from about a month ago) I’d like to talk for a moment about voting.
I tell this to people all the time when they say they don’t think their vote matters: It’s not about now it’s about tomorrow. It’s about being on the record.
Actually I feel it’s a direct dis to our ancestors and those of all color who fought and died for the right. You could vote it for no other reason than to pay homage. Even if they don’t count it, it doesn’t take long.
My question to you hard core, bitter non voters who want change, is what are you doing that’s more or as effective as voting. What are you doing that voting would hinder or destroy your efforts?
Believe it or not, there is such a thing as the lesser of 2 evils… it’s not what I want but it is what is. I’m sure enslaved black people and white abolitionists could have just waited for the perfect person to come into office before they started agitating, resisting, escaping, protesting - but they didn’t. They did what they could, every minute they could.
Now. About the "Tar Baby" situation.
From cnn.com:
Snow's briefing also produced a couple of backpedals, several pointed rejoinders -- and at least one turn of phrase that raised eyebrows.
Asked repeatedly about reports that the government has collected records on millions of Americans' phone calls, Snow said, "I don't want to hug the tarbaby of trying to comment on the program, the alleged program, the existence of which I can neither confirm nor deny."
The expression, which refers to a character in the most famous of the fictional Uncle Remus stories, is sometimes used to portray an inextricable situation. But, as the word also has been used as a derogatory term for blacks, it raised eyebrows when spoken from the White House podium.
Snow’s statement was inappropriate, insensitive, and offensive.
Later in the briefing, Snow was asked what he meant. "Well, I believe 'hug the tarbaby,' we could trace that back to American lore," he said
Racist ass Uncle Remus... WORD? ‘American lore’ has a lot of potential references to describe the position he was in. He chose the most incendiary one possible. Why?
The hubbub around the term has obscured the question he was dodging… probably one of the most important things to be talked about in the entire press conference.
This guy is no dummy
He works on television
He worked for FOX
He knows words and how they work
This was his first press conference, and he says something so wildly inappropriate that everyone focuses on the “bad word” and not on the issue he was “not going to hug” –
The NSA
Spying on you
And while we bicker over this phrase, the constitution is being shredded before our eyes
If you want to be offended, be offended by the dministration’s appalling response to Katrina and the fact that it might happen again this year
Be offended that the dollar is worth less
Be offended that the cultural reference that Snow made will be wasted on a country full of barely literate people of all races that are currently going through the public school system.
Exercise your rights before you get flabby
And stay focused
|
a really smart bomb
5/2/06
My jaw is still on the floor after seeing this on C-SPAN the other day.
The speech Steve Colbert gave at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner was awesome if for no other reason that people he was satirizing were all in the room. Here is a link to thankyoustephencolbert.org, a site with links to the performance, transcripts, etc.
|
Casual Niggas
4/17/06
Over the past few months I’ve been watching several historical films that deal with race in America (a solders story, crazy in Alabama, glory, in the heat of the night) and at the same time have been mulling over in my head the use by both public figures, my friends and myself of the word “nigga”
What is it about that word that’s so attractive?
Why is it ok to say it on TV and you cant say “shit?”
It’s supposed to be such an ugly word but it feels like it’s becoming increasingly common in our pop culture. My mind instantly flashes to a club that my friend took me to that was populated primarily with white people who where all dancing and having a good time and then the DJ spun the #1 song in America at the time which was “gold digger” by Kanye West. Everyone went crazy, as was the tradition at the time and started singing the song VERY LOUD! Tension built as the hook approached and to every ones credit no one said “nigger” but Kanye.
Which brings me to the question why? Why is ok for any one to use it? I mean, sure we can say whatever we want I’m not challenging that. I’m challenging the hypocrisy of it being called an ugly word but still being used casually. I don’t know how many interviews and talk show appearances I have heard people/artists say “when you use it enough it takes the power out of it” or “we use it for a term of endearment”
2 thoughts run through my mind
#1 we still got a lot of healing to do(not just black but this entire country)
#2 we are not being creative enough.
There were several words besides “nigger” that were used to denigrate and demean us that I feel should be used more often until the power is taken out of them, as well. Here’s a short list
- spade
- jigga bo
- tar baby
- egg plant
- spook
- sambo
- chimp
- ape
- snow flake
- spear chucker
- booty scratcher
- coon
Really try substituting those words in your mind for how you’ve herd the word nigga used.
“yo, that’s my Jigga bo”
"where my tar babies at?"
“all the real fly coons throw your hands up”
“ I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger be she ain’t messing wit’ no broke spear chuckers”
See. Its got a little sting to it that I think “nigger” has lost…and if all else fails emphasize the “ER” that was at the end of “nigga” before it was dropped for the “A”
|
"i've got so much trouble on my mind..."
hey true believers. there is alot going on in the world as you well know and i hope you are out there doing your part to build or destroy. everytime i see or hear this MC and i can let some one know about him, i try to do so. this is Immortal Technique speaking in California recently, the second link is him answering questions.
i would love to hear your thoughts on what he's talking about.
Statement to the press
Q&A
thanks Davey D
|
what do Sidney Poitier and '36 Mafia' have in common?
An oscar, apparently.
Before I rant, let me just say that 90% of everything is bullshit. I forgot who told me that but it holds true. Test it if you don’t believe me. It's probably why I have such a small circle of friends. That thought rang thought my head along with the last note to the Oscar award winning song as performed that night. “It's hard out here for a pimp.” As she held that note my heart shattered like a wine glass.
Yall, I didn’t plan to watch the award show. The house was a mess and we decided
to put on the TV as background noise as we cleaned up. We happened to pass the tv at the same time as the performance began, complete with choreographed pimps whores and Johns. We both watched in AWE as they won an award. And then, QUEEN Latifah - your name cant get more black than that - the author of ladies first, and UNITY) followed them to present an award and said nothing to acknowledge the sickness that preceeded.
Now the Oscars are not my show so they can award whom ever they please, however it was crazy to see that mythology affirmed in such a global public way.
Quick query. Why don’t “conscious” rappers get in to battles with corporate sponsored “gangsta” rappers? Oh and just so no one says I didn’t offer an alternative…if you still listen to hip-hop and want to hear some thing gangsta, check out Immortal Technique.
Bush (and all of the corporate sponsored politicians) knew about Katrina. It's on video tape. So stay focused... an Oscar pales in comparison to the crimes that are being committed in this country daily. We must value ourselves and our image. No one feels compassion for a pimp no matter how hard out there it is for him. Let's broaden our mythology so next time (omnipotent life force forbid) we are wading though water looking for food to survive, we are not labeled looters.
First Octavia passes and now this? "Are we living in Parable of the Sower already? Was my first thought. Then my next thought was "perhaps I should douse myself in gasoline and set myself on fire" BUT with the price of gas being so crazy right now I would hate to waste that on little ole me. My very next thought went to what am I doing artistically right now?
Then I thought, well we do have EXITTHEAPPLE. But sometimes I feel dwarfed by the corporate sponsored rap group that is only a drop in the ocean of wack shit out there representing us. For as many people as there are who come though this site, more connections should be made. I KNOW for a fact that there are folks who come to this site or attend our events whose life works compliment each other but never cross paths.
And I’m guilty of over working and never acknowleding that stuff has actually been done. And people do meet and accomplish things so to that end I do want to thank those of you who do put forth the effort and occasionally shout us out. It helps…however what do we do NOW?
Right now I’m going to finish these scripts I’ve been working on.
As for you my fellow exiters/nerds ask yourself what have you done, what can you do, and are you part of the 90%? Be honest. No pain no gain. The struggle continues.
Peace
|
read
first of all i really want to thank all of those who showed up and danced HARD through the night at the first gig i ever spun in maryland. we will continue to do it at that spot on the 1st Saturday of every month. more info is here; click for it.
a book store just opened up in our neighborhood and me and my wife went and spent hours buying new books. walking home from the store with the heavy books I started thinking about what an amazing thing it is to be able to read. And how at one time in this county it was ILLEGAL for blacks to read; in some cases an offense punishable by death.
So when I got home started reading everything, every little thing I could. I came across a manual for a vacuum cleaner we just got and to my surprise I came across the following quote:
"The cords, wires and/or cables supplied with the product contain chemicals, including lead or lead compounds, known to the state of california to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after using."
WTF!!!!! wash my hands after using my vacuum? needless to say it is sitting on the curb awaiting trash pick up
on martin luther king day i decided to read the 13th amendment. and something stood out to me
"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, EXCEPT as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
EXCEPT? WTF!!! it made me think about the prison industrial complex and how many of us that have been put through the system don’t even have the right to vote. i think the # is something like 13%
then for some reason i thought about lil kim. i don’t know why but i felt the need to write her. i also thought alot about how important celebrity has become and I’ve always felt like fame/celebrity was such a weird American construct and also how important it has been to black folks.
I’ve always wanted to have a group called “RAB” - Regular Ass Blackfolk. our mission would be to befriend folks as they get more popular and keep them grounded. invite them to our houses, where they would sleep on the couch, send them to the bodega for some chips and make fun of their clothing; but most importantly just talk to them and listen honestly. I am going to write her… not sure what. Whatever it is it’s going to be kind. No self righteous bullshit just whatever’s on my mind. If you want to write her here’s the address:
Kimberly Jones 56198-054
FDC Philadelphia
Federal Detention Center
P.O. BOX 562
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Then yesterday george w bush appoints a judge to the highest court of the land for the sole purpose of reversing roe vs wade; the next day Coretta Scott King dies. i think that means something. Those of you who don’t think they can outlaw women’s right to choose forget that women only recently got the right to vote. Read between the lines.
ps if anyone has abbey lincoln's info holla
|
Do The Write Thing
12/30/02
Let me preface what I’m about to say by saying I don’t watch Television often so if what I’m about to describe is normal and my reaction to it is over the top its because I’m unaccustomed to what is probably considered normal right now.
The scene opens up on two young men sitting in a parked car. One is black the other is white. The black guy is holding a container filled with chicken pieces. As he is about to eat a piece of chicken his friend (the white guy) cautions him against eating a piece chicken now and just as he's about to suggest a proper time and place his friend pops the piece of chicken into his mouth. Suddenly you hear sirens and then fire trucks pull up out of nowhere. Fire men run out of the trucks hook up hoses to hydrants then proceed to point the hoses in the faces of the two men through the window of the parked car and turn them on full blast. Then they cut away to the voice over and the pitch of the ad describes what a great deal you are getting by purchasing this chicken. When we cut back to our 2 “protagonists” drenched in the car. The black guy leans over apologetically to say something only to be cut off by his friend telling him very coldly to get out of the car. The end.
Now usually I would go on in a million directions about what I felt was wrong with that but I wont waste my time on the obvious. Instead I’m going to cut to the chase and offer what I feel is an answer.
The problem for me is not necessarily those images as it is the lack of alternatives. So this goes out to you.
Yeah you reading this right now.
If you as tired of this bullsh*t as I am, take a camera and MAKE SOMETHING. Please… If you’re a writer or just have an idea and need to learn structure I urge you to check this site out click around and read what you feel applies to you
http://lifewrite.com/
|
John Henry style
12/9/05
Today I woke up to a banging on my door. Not your normal Jehovah witness, UPS drop off polite knocking. Its was a heavy side of your fist Poe Poe drug bust knocking. This was the first sound I heard this morning at 300:00 that’s right folks 300:00 I didn’t even know that such an hour existed until this morning.
Apparently some young “entrepreneur” was roaming the neighborhood (with a DIGGING shovel) offing his snow shoveling skills for a small fee. Which I’m all for.
However I am a new homeowner and this is my first snow so I got dressed got my bright orange SNOW shovel and went to shovel my walk way. On my way out I saw the young man shoveling my neighbors walk. I being a new person in the neighborhood, wanting to show good will and that I wasn’t bitter about the pounding he put on my door turned to him and said “hey, good morning” I waved and smiled and every thing.
his reaction: This kid ICE grilled me like I threw dodo at his mama. I got so pissed that he looked at me like that, that after I finished shoveling my walk way I shoveled the walkway of the next 3 houses and wrecked his whole hustle. I was actually done with those 3 and my own before he was done with his one. The smile that I gave him while walking into my house and tapping the excess snow off my boots …priceless.
|
Ketchup
The intent of an artist is to affect the viewer. I remember seeing scary movies as a child and my brother telling me that all blood in movies was ketchup. It helped me understand that there was more than one truth and that no matter what I saw on the big screen, it was a trick to effect me. After that, I was able to watch just about any movie.
The ability of artists to manipulate feelings has been more apparent to me of recent. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the new projects I’m in the middle of, or all that’s been in the news since last I’ve written.
One often-forwarded image in the immediate aftermath of hurricane Katrina was a composite of two photographs side by side that had been taken from the yahoo news website. In one, a young black boy is wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and is described as a looter. In the other photo, two young white people are wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and the caption describes them as having “found food.” A photographer took that picture, a writer wrote those words. It’s ‘ketchup.’
Kanye West saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on TV - that close to the release of his album - was a big old splash of ketchup that got people’s attention.
Sometimes I forget that however crude, this is all done by design to produce an effect. Ketchup.
Speaking of which, I was part of what I’d like to call a live performance piece this year. Right before the storm, I was LEGALLY searched by NYPD on the long island railroad. Ever since it became legal to search civilians, there have been armed troops, as well as police, all over the commuter rail and subway stations. I was coming back from teaching class. I was wearing a kufi, glasses; a "black nerds unite" t-shirt a backpack full of my students work. I was holding a digital camera (I was teaching documentary filmmaking.) Apparently, that’s terrorist attire. Two cops descended upon me while 2 others watched from a distance and a troop armed with an automatic paced up and down. I won’t get into the details but just know that it was embarrassing, and to top it all off they held my train door open until they were finished. The crowd around me and the crowd on the train treated me like it was 1983 and I shouted out I have AIDS. People switching seats and averting glances. Clearly it was an effective performance… however I don’t know who felt safer after that.
At least they didn’t shoot first, like they did to that dude in London.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear… to know that it’s all ketchup. I wont front … I haven’t worn my kufi out as much since that performance … which I know is wack. Because when we change in even those simple ways we give others the affirmation they need to further deny reality/truth.
And what’s truth. The truth is that we (human beings) are always on the brink of death. The truth is, we are a frail and mighty species with no claws, wings or fangs. The truth is we are full of contradictions right down to our design…our up right posture corrupts our spine. The truth is that safety is the illusion.
Finally. Bush’s reaction to the storm made me think of Batman’s character in the movie “Batman Begins” when he said, “I won’t kill you but I don’t have to save you”
Then I thought of all the things that have kept me from being a batman fan. There’s the fact that he’s this rich guy with no superpowers that lives in a mansion and decides to go out at night and fight crime ungoverned by the rules of law. He never deals with white-collar crime but instead opts to swing from rooftops knocking out bank robbers and masked lunatics. He never for once sees himself as a lawbreaker and is never questioned for living with young “boy wards.”
…That aside 'batman begins' was the best batman flick I’ve seen :)
|
...
I wish something I had to say was as important as what’s been going on.
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
It's hard out here for a pimple
July 4th 2005
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
Last night changed it all (dropped the ball PART 2)
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
Ok so since i seem to be ahead of the curve on the "tar baby" thing,
(see my post from about a month ago) I’d like to talk for a moment about voting.
I tell this to people all the time when they say they don’t think their vote matters: It’s not about now it’s about tomorrow. It’s about being on the record.
Actually I feel it’s a direct dis to our ancestors and those of all color who fought and died for the right. You could vote it for no other reason than to pay homage. Even if they don’t count it, it doesn’t take long.
My question to you hard core, bitter non voters who want change, is what are you doing that’s more or as effective as voting. What are you doing that voting would hinder or destroy your efforts?
Believe it or not, there is such a thing as the lesser of 2 evils… it’s not what I want but it is what is. I’m sure enslaved black people and white abolitionists could have just waited for the perfect person to come into office before they started agitating, resisting, escaping, protesting - but they didn’t. They did what they could, every minute they could.
Now. About the "Tar Baby" situation.
From cnn.com:
Snow's briefing also produced a couple of backpedals, several pointed rejoinders -- and at least one turn of phrase that raised eyebrows.
Asked repeatedly about reports that the government has collected records on millions of Americans' phone calls, Snow said, "I don't want to hug the tarbaby of trying to comment on the program, the alleged program, the existence of which I can neither confirm nor deny."
The expression, which refers to a character in the most famous of the fictional Uncle Remus stories, is sometimes used to portray an inextricable situation. But, as the word also has been used as a derogatory term for blacks, it raised eyebrows when spoken from the White House podium.
Snow’s statement was inappropriate, insensitive, and offensive.
Later in the briefing, Snow was asked what he meant. "Well, I believe 'hug the tarbaby,' we could trace that back to American lore," he said
Racist ass Uncle Remus... WORD? ‘American lore’ has a lot of potential references to describe the position he was in. He chose the most incendiary one possible. Why?The hubbub around the term has obscured the question he was dodging… probably one of the most important things to be talked about in the entire press conference.
This guy is no dummy
He works on television
He worked for FOX
He knows words and how they work
This was his first press conference, and he says something so wildly inappropriate that everyone focuses on the “bad word” and not on the issue he was “not going to hug” –
The NSA
Spying on you
And while we bicker over this phrase, the constitution is being shredded before our eyes
If you want to be offended, be offended by the dministration’s appalling response to Katrina and the fact that it might happen again this year
Be offended that the dollar is worth less
Be offended that the cultural reference that Snow made will be wasted on a country full of barely literate people of all races that are currently going through the public school system.
Exercise your rights before you get flabby
And stay focused
|
5/2/06
My jaw is still on the floor after seeing this on C-SPAN the other day.
The speech Steve Colbert gave at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner was awesome if for no other reason that people he was satirizing were all in the room. Here is a link to thankyoustephencolbert.org, a site with links to the performance, transcripts, etc.
|
My jaw is still on the floor after seeing this on C-SPAN the other day.
The speech Steve Colbert gave at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner was awesome if for no other reason that people he was satirizing were all in the room. Here is a link to thankyoustephencolbert.org, a site with links to the performance, transcripts, etc.
|
Casual Niggas
4/17/06
Over the past few months I’ve been watching several historical films that deal with race in America (a solders story, crazy in Alabama, glory, in the heat of the night) and at the same time have been mulling over in my head the use by both public figures, my friends and myself of the word “nigga”
What is it about that word that’s so attractive?
Why is it ok to say it on TV and you cant say “shit?”
It’s supposed to be such an ugly word but it feels like it’s becoming increasingly common in our pop culture. My mind instantly flashes to a club that my friend took me to that was populated primarily with white people who where all dancing and having a good time and then the DJ spun the #1 song in America at the time which was “gold digger” by Kanye West. Everyone went crazy, as was the tradition at the time and started singing the song VERY LOUD! Tension built as the hook approached and to every ones credit no one said “nigger” but Kanye.
Which brings me to the question why? Why is ok for any one to use it? I mean, sure we can say whatever we want I’m not challenging that. I’m challenging the hypocrisy of it being called an ugly word but still being used casually. I don’t know how many interviews and talk show appearances I have heard people/artists say “when you use it enough it takes the power out of it” or “we use it for a term of endearment”
2 thoughts run through my mind
#1 we still got a lot of healing to do(not just black but this entire country)
#2 we are not being creative enough.
There were several words besides “nigger” that were used to denigrate and demean us that I feel should be used more often until the power is taken out of them, as well. Here’s a short list
- spade
- jigga bo
- tar baby
- egg plant
- spook
- sambo
- chimp
- ape
- snow flake
- spear chucker
- booty scratcher
- coon
Really try substituting those words in your mind for how you’ve herd the word nigga used.
“yo, that’s my Jigga bo”
"where my tar babies at?"
“all the real fly coons throw your hands up”
“ I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger be she ain’t messing wit’ no broke spear chuckers”
See. Its got a little sting to it that I think “nigger” has lost…and if all else fails emphasize the “ER” that was at the end of “nigga” before it was dropped for the “A”
|
"i've got so much trouble on my mind..."
hey true believers. there is alot going on in the world as you well know and i hope you are out there doing your part to build or destroy. everytime i see or hear this MC and i can let some one know about him, i try to do so. this is Immortal Technique speaking in California recently, the second link is him answering questions.
i would love to hear your thoughts on what he's talking about.
Statement to the press
Q&A
thanks Davey D
|
what do Sidney Poitier and '36 Mafia' have in common?
An oscar, apparently.
Before I rant, let me just say that 90% of everything is bullshit. I forgot who told me that but it holds true. Test it if you don’t believe me. It's probably why I have such a small circle of friends. That thought rang thought my head along with the last note to the Oscar award winning song as performed that night. “It's hard out here for a pimp.” As she held that note my heart shattered like a wine glass.
Yall, I didn’t plan to watch the award show. The house was a mess and we decided
to put on the TV as background noise as we cleaned up. We happened to pass the tv at the same time as the performance began, complete with choreographed pimps whores and Johns. We both watched in AWE as they won an award. And then, QUEEN Latifah - your name cant get more black than that - the author of ladies first, and UNITY) followed them to present an award and said nothing to acknowledge the sickness that preceeded.
Now the Oscars are not my show so they can award whom ever they please, however it was crazy to see that mythology affirmed in such a global public way.
Quick query. Why don’t “conscious” rappers get in to battles with corporate sponsored “gangsta” rappers? Oh and just so no one says I didn’t offer an alternative…if you still listen to hip-hop and want to hear some thing gangsta, check out Immortal Technique.
Bush (and all of the corporate sponsored politicians) knew about Katrina. It's on video tape. So stay focused... an Oscar pales in comparison to the crimes that are being committed in this country daily. We must value ourselves and our image. No one feels compassion for a pimp no matter how hard out there it is for him. Let's broaden our mythology so next time (omnipotent life force forbid) we are wading though water looking for food to survive, we are not labeled looters.
First Octavia passes and now this? "Are we living in Parable of the Sower already? Was my first thought. Then my next thought was "perhaps I should douse myself in gasoline and set myself on fire" BUT with the price of gas being so crazy right now I would hate to waste that on little ole me. My very next thought went to what am I doing artistically right now?
Then I thought, well we do have EXITTHEAPPLE. But sometimes I feel dwarfed by the corporate sponsored rap group that is only a drop in the ocean of wack shit out there representing us. For as many people as there are who come though this site, more connections should be made. I KNOW for a fact that there are folks who come to this site or attend our events whose life works compliment each other but never cross paths.
And I’m guilty of over working and never acknowleding that stuff has actually been done. And people do meet and accomplish things so to that end I do want to thank those of you who do put forth the effort and occasionally shout us out. It helps…however what do we do NOW?
Right now I’m going to finish these scripts I’ve been working on.
As for you my fellow exiters/nerds ask yourself what have you done, what can you do, and are you part of the 90%? Be honest. No pain no gain. The struggle continues.
Peace
|
read
first of all i really want to thank all of those who showed up and danced HARD through the night at the first gig i ever spun in maryland. we will continue to do it at that spot on the 1st Saturday of every month. more info is here; click for it.
a book store just opened up in our neighborhood and me and my wife went and spent hours buying new books. walking home from the store with the heavy books I started thinking about what an amazing thing it is to be able to read. And how at one time in this county it was ILLEGAL for blacks to read; in some cases an offense punishable by death.
So when I got home started reading everything, every little thing I could. I came across a manual for a vacuum cleaner we just got and to my surprise I came across the following quote:
"The cords, wires and/or cables supplied with the product contain chemicals, including lead or lead compounds, known to the state of california to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after using."
WTF!!!!! wash my hands after using my vacuum? needless to say it is sitting on the curb awaiting trash pick up
on martin luther king day i decided to read the 13th amendment. and something stood out to me
"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, EXCEPT as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
EXCEPT? WTF!!! it made me think about the prison industrial complex and how many of us that have been put through the system don’t even have the right to vote. i think the # is something like 13%
then for some reason i thought about lil kim. i don’t know why but i felt the need to write her. i also thought alot about how important celebrity has become and I’ve always felt like fame/celebrity was such a weird American construct and also how important it has been to black folks.
I’ve always wanted to have a group called “RAB” - Regular Ass Blackfolk. our mission would be to befriend folks as they get more popular and keep them grounded. invite them to our houses, where they would sleep on the couch, send them to the bodega for some chips and make fun of their clothing; but most importantly just talk to them and listen honestly. I am going to write her… not sure what. Whatever it is it’s going to be kind. No self righteous bullshit just whatever’s on my mind. If you want to write her here’s the address:
Kimberly Jones 56198-054
FDC Philadelphia
Federal Detention Center
P.O. BOX 562
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Then yesterday george w bush appoints a judge to the highest court of the land for the sole purpose of reversing roe vs wade; the next day Coretta Scott King dies. i think that means something. Those of you who don’t think they can outlaw women’s right to choose forget that women only recently got the right to vote. Read between the lines.
ps if anyone has abbey lincoln's info holla
|
Do The Write Thing
12/30/02
Let me preface what I’m about to say by saying I don’t watch Television often so if what I’m about to describe is normal and my reaction to it is over the top its because I’m unaccustomed to what is probably considered normal right now.
The scene opens up on two young men sitting in a parked car. One is black the other is white. The black guy is holding a container filled with chicken pieces. As he is about to eat a piece of chicken his friend (the white guy) cautions him against eating a piece chicken now and just as he's about to suggest a proper time and place his friend pops the piece of chicken into his mouth. Suddenly you hear sirens and then fire trucks pull up out of nowhere. Fire men run out of the trucks hook up hoses to hydrants then proceed to point the hoses in the faces of the two men through the window of the parked car and turn them on full blast. Then they cut away to the voice over and the pitch of the ad describes what a great deal you are getting by purchasing this chicken. When we cut back to our 2 “protagonists” drenched in the car. The black guy leans over apologetically to say something only to be cut off by his friend telling him very coldly to get out of the car. The end.
Now usually I would go on in a million directions about what I felt was wrong with that but I wont waste my time on the obvious. Instead I’m going to cut to the chase and offer what I feel is an answer.
The problem for me is not necessarily those images as it is the lack of alternatives. So this goes out to you.
Yeah you reading this right now.
If you as tired of this bullsh*t as I am, take a camera and MAKE SOMETHING. Please… If you’re a writer or just have an idea and need to learn structure I urge you to check this site out click around and read what you feel applies to you
http://lifewrite.com/
|
John Henry style
12/9/05
Today I woke up to a banging on my door. Not your normal Jehovah witness, UPS drop off polite knocking. Its was a heavy side of your fist Poe Poe drug bust knocking. This was the first sound I heard this morning at 300:00 that’s right folks 300:00 I didn’t even know that such an hour existed until this morning.
Apparently some young “entrepreneur” was roaming the neighborhood (with a DIGGING shovel) offing his snow shoveling skills for a small fee. Which I’m all for.
However I am a new homeowner and this is my first snow so I got dressed got my bright orange SNOW shovel and went to shovel my walk way. On my way out I saw the young man shoveling my neighbors walk. I being a new person in the neighborhood, wanting to show good will and that I wasn’t bitter about the pounding he put on my door turned to him and said “hey, good morning” I waved and smiled and every thing.
his reaction: This kid ICE grilled me like I threw dodo at his mama. I got so pissed that he looked at me like that, that after I finished shoveling my walk way I shoveled the walkway of the next 3 houses and wrecked his whole hustle. I was actually done with those 3 and my own before he was done with his one. The smile that I gave him while walking into my house and tapping the excess snow off my boots …priceless.
|
Ketchup
The intent of an artist is to affect the viewer. I remember seeing scary movies as a child and my brother telling me that all blood in movies was ketchup. It helped me understand that there was more than one truth and that no matter what I saw on the big screen, it was a trick to effect me. After that, I was able to watch just about any movie.
The ability of artists to manipulate feelings has been more apparent to me of recent. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the new projects I’m in the middle of, or all that’s been in the news since last I’ve written.
One often-forwarded image in the immediate aftermath of hurricane Katrina was a composite of two photographs side by side that had been taken from the yahoo news website. In one, a young black boy is wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and is described as a looter. In the other photo, two young white people are wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and the caption describes them as having “found food.” A photographer took that picture, a writer wrote those words. It’s ‘ketchup.’
Kanye West saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on TV - that close to the release of his album - was a big old splash of ketchup that got people’s attention.
Sometimes I forget that however crude, this is all done by design to produce an effect. Ketchup.
Speaking of which, I was part of what I’d like to call a live performance piece this year. Right before the storm, I was LEGALLY searched by NYPD on the long island railroad. Ever since it became legal to search civilians, there have been armed troops, as well as police, all over the commuter rail and subway stations. I was coming back from teaching class. I was wearing a kufi, glasses; a "black nerds unite" t-shirt a backpack full of my students work. I was holding a digital camera (I was teaching documentary filmmaking.) Apparently, that’s terrorist attire. Two cops descended upon me while 2 others watched from a distance and a troop armed with an automatic paced up and down. I won’t get into the details but just know that it was embarrassing, and to top it all off they held my train door open until they were finished. The crowd around me and the crowd on the train treated me like it was 1983 and I shouted out I have AIDS. People switching seats and averting glances. Clearly it was an effective performance… however I don’t know who felt safer after that.
At least they didn’t shoot first, like they did to that dude in London.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear… to know that it’s all ketchup. I wont front … I haven’t worn my kufi out as much since that performance … which I know is wack. Because when we change in even those simple ways we give others the affirmation they need to further deny reality/truth.
And what’s truth. The truth is that we (human beings) are always on the brink of death. The truth is, we are a frail and mighty species with no claws, wings or fangs. The truth is we are full of contradictions right down to our design…our up right posture corrupts our spine. The truth is that safety is the illusion.
Finally. Bush’s reaction to the storm made me think of Batman’s character in the movie “Batman Begins” when he said, “I won’t kill you but I don’t have to save you”
Then I thought of all the things that have kept me from being a batman fan. There’s the fact that he’s this rich guy with no superpowers that lives in a mansion and decides to go out at night and fight crime ungoverned by the rules of law. He never deals with white-collar crime but instead opts to swing from rooftops knocking out bank robbers and masked lunatics. He never for once sees himself as a lawbreaker and is never questioned for living with young “boy wards.”
…That aside 'batman begins' was the best batman flick I’ve seen :)
|
...
I wish something I had to say was as important as what’s been going on.
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
It's hard out here for a pimple
July 4th 2005
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
Last night changed it all (dropped the ball PART 2)
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
Over the past few months I’ve been watching several historical films that deal with race in America (a solders story, crazy in Alabama, glory, in the heat of the night) and at the same time have been mulling over in my head the use by both public figures, my friends and myself of the word “nigga”
What is it about that word that’s so attractive?
Why is it ok to say it on TV and you cant say “shit?”
It’s supposed to be such an ugly word but it feels like it’s becoming increasingly common in our pop culture. My mind instantly flashes to a club that my friend took me to that was populated primarily with white people who where all dancing and having a good time and then the DJ spun the #1 song in America at the time which was “gold digger” by Kanye West. Everyone went crazy, as was the tradition at the time and started singing the song VERY LOUD! Tension built as the hook approached and to every ones credit no one said “nigger” but Kanye.
Which brings me to the question why? Why is ok for any one to use it? I mean, sure we can say whatever we want I’m not challenging that. I’m challenging the hypocrisy of it being called an ugly word but still being used casually. I don’t know how many interviews and talk show appearances I have heard people/artists say “when you use it enough it takes the power out of it” or “we use it for a term of endearment”
2 thoughts run through my mind
#1 we still got a lot of healing to do(not just black but this entire country)
#2 we are not being creative enough.
There were several words besides “nigger” that were used to denigrate and demean us that I feel should be used more often until the power is taken out of them, as well. Here’s a short list
- spade
- jigga bo
- tar baby
- egg plant
- spook
- sambo
- chimp
- ape
- snow flake
- spear chucker
- booty scratcher
- coon
Really try substituting those words in your mind for how you’ve herd the word nigga used.
“yo, that’s my Jigga bo”
"where my tar babies at?"
“all the real fly coons throw your hands up”
“ I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger be she ain’t messing wit’ no broke spear chuckers”
See. Its got a little sting to it that I think “nigger” has lost…and if all else fails emphasize the “ER” that was at the end of “nigga” before it was dropped for the “A”
|
hey true believers. there is alot going on in the world as you well know and i hope you are out there doing your part to build or destroy. everytime i see or hear this MC and i can let some one know about him, i try to do so. this is Immortal Technique speaking in California recently, the second link is him answering questions.
i would love to hear your thoughts on what he's talking about.
Statement to the press
Q&A
thanks Davey D
|
i would love to hear your thoughts on what he's talking about.
Statement to the press
Q&A
thanks Davey D
|
what do Sidney Poitier and '36 Mafia' have in common?
An oscar, apparently.
Before I rant, let me just say that 90% of everything is bullshit. I forgot who told me that but it holds true. Test it if you don’t believe me. It's probably why I have such a small circle of friends. That thought rang thought my head along with the last note to the Oscar award winning song as performed that night. “It's hard out here for a pimp.” As she held that note my heart shattered like a wine glass.
Yall, I didn’t plan to watch the award show. The house was a mess and we decided
to put on the TV as background noise as we cleaned up. We happened to pass the tv at the same time as the performance began, complete with choreographed pimps whores and Johns. We both watched in AWE as they won an award. And then, QUEEN Latifah - your name cant get more black than that - the author of ladies first, and UNITY) followed them to present an award and said nothing to acknowledge the sickness that preceeded.
Now the Oscars are not my show so they can award whom ever they please, however it was crazy to see that mythology affirmed in such a global public way.
Quick query. Why don’t “conscious” rappers get in to battles with corporate sponsored “gangsta” rappers? Oh and just so no one says I didn’t offer an alternative…if you still listen to hip-hop and want to hear some thing gangsta, check out Immortal Technique.
Bush (and all of the corporate sponsored politicians) knew about Katrina. It's on video tape. So stay focused... an Oscar pales in comparison to the crimes that are being committed in this country daily. We must value ourselves and our image. No one feels compassion for a pimp no matter how hard out there it is for him. Let's broaden our mythology so next time (omnipotent life force forbid) we are wading though water looking for food to survive, we are not labeled looters.
First Octavia passes and now this? "Are we living in Parable of the Sower already? Was my first thought. Then my next thought was "perhaps I should douse myself in gasoline and set myself on fire" BUT with the price of gas being so crazy right now I would hate to waste that on little ole me. My very next thought went to what am I doing artistically right now?
Then I thought, well we do have EXITTHEAPPLE. But sometimes I feel dwarfed by the corporate sponsored rap group that is only a drop in the ocean of wack shit out there representing us. For as many people as there are who come though this site, more connections should be made. I KNOW for a fact that there are folks who come to this site or attend our events whose life works compliment each other but never cross paths.
And I’m guilty of over working and never acknowleding that stuff has actually been done. And people do meet and accomplish things so to that end I do want to thank those of you who do put forth the effort and occasionally shout us out. It helps…however what do we do NOW?
Right now I’m going to finish these scripts I’ve been working on.
As for you my fellow exiters/nerds ask yourself what have you done, what can you do, and are you part of the 90%? Be honest. No pain no gain. The struggle continues.
Peace
|
read
first of all i really want to thank all of those who showed up and danced HARD through the night at the first gig i ever spun in maryland. we will continue to do it at that spot on the 1st Saturday of every month. more info is here; click for it.
a book store just opened up in our neighborhood and me and my wife went and spent hours buying new books. walking home from the store with the heavy books I started thinking about what an amazing thing it is to be able to read. And how at one time in this county it was ILLEGAL for blacks to read; in some cases an offense punishable by death.
So when I got home started reading everything, every little thing I could. I came across a manual for a vacuum cleaner we just got and to my surprise I came across the following quote:
"The cords, wires and/or cables supplied with the product contain chemicals, including lead or lead compounds, known to the state of california to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after using."
WTF!!!!! wash my hands after using my vacuum? needless to say it is sitting on the curb awaiting trash pick up
on martin luther king day i decided to read the 13th amendment. and something stood out to me
"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, EXCEPT as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
EXCEPT? WTF!!! it made me think about the prison industrial complex and how many of us that have been put through the system don’t even have the right to vote. i think the # is something like 13%
then for some reason i thought about lil kim. i don’t know why but i felt the need to write her. i also thought alot about how important celebrity has become and I’ve always felt like fame/celebrity was such a weird American construct and also how important it has been to black folks.
I’ve always wanted to have a group called “RAB” - Regular Ass Blackfolk. our mission would be to befriend folks as they get more popular and keep them grounded. invite them to our houses, where they would sleep on the couch, send them to the bodega for some chips and make fun of their clothing; but most importantly just talk to them and listen honestly. I am going to write her… not sure what. Whatever it is it’s going to be kind. No self righteous bullshit just whatever’s on my mind. If you want to write her here’s the address:
Kimberly Jones 56198-054
FDC Philadelphia
Federal Detention Center
P.O. BOX 562
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Then yesterday george w bush appoints a judge to the highest court of the land for the sole purpose of reversing roe vs wade; the next day Coretta Scott King dies. i think that means something. Those of you who don’t think they can outlaw women’s right to choose forget that women only recently got the right to vote. Read between the lines.
ps if anyone has abbey lincoln's info holla
|
Do The Write Thing
12/30/02
Let me preface what I’m about to say by saying I don’t watch Television often so if what I’m about to describe is normal and my reaction to it is over the top its because I’m unaccustomed to what is probably considered normal right now.
The scene opens up on two young men sitting in a parked car. One is black the other is white. The black guy is holding a container filled with chicken pieces. As he is about to eat a piece of chicken his friend (the white guy) cautions him against eating a piece chicken now and just as he's about to suggest a proper time and place his friend pops the piece of chicken into his mouth. Suddenly you hear sirens and then fire trucks pull up out of nowhere. Fire men run out of the trucks hook up hoses to hydrants then proceed to point the hoses in the faces of the two men through the window of the parked car and turn them on full blast. Then they cut away to the voice over and the pitch of the ad describes what a great deal you are getting by purchasing this chicken. When we cut back to our 2 “protagonists” drenched in the car. The black guy leans over apologetically to say something only to be cut off by his friend telling him very coldly to get out of the car. The end.
Now usually I would go on in a million directions about what I felt was wrong with that but I wont waste my time on the obvious. Instead I’m going to cut to the chase and offer what I feel is an answer.
The problem for me is not necessarily those images as it is the lack of alternatives. So this goes out to you.
Yeah you reading this right now.
If you as tired of this bullsh*t as I am, take a camera and MAKE SOMETHING. Please… If you’re a writer or just have an idea and need to learn structure I urge you to check this site out click around and read what you feel applies to you
http://lifewrite.com/
|
John Henry style
12/9/05
Today I woke up to a banging on my door. Not your normal Jehovah witness, UPS drop off polite knocking. Its was a heavy side of your fist Poe Poe drug bust knocking. This was the first sound I heard this morning at 300:00 that’s right folks 300:00 I didn’t even know that such an hour existed until this morning.
Apparently some young “entrepreneur” was roaming the neighborhood (with a DIGGING shovel) offing his snow shoveling skills for a small fee. Which I’m all for.
However I am a new homeowner and this is my first snow so I got dressed got my bright orange SNOW shovel and went to shovel my walk way. On my way out I saw the young man shoveling my neighbors walk. I being a new person in the neighborhood, wanting to show good will and that I wasn’t bitter about the pounding he put on my door turned to him and said “hey, good morning” I waved and smiled and every thing.
his reaction: This kid ICE grilled me like I threw dodo at his mama. I got so pissed that he looked at me like that, that after I finished shoveling my walk way I shoveled the walkway of the next 3 houses and wrecked his whole hustle. I was actually done with those 3 and my own before he was done with his one. The smile that I gave him while walking into my house and tapping the excess snow off my boots …priceless.
|
Ketchup
The intent of an artist is to affect the viewer. I remember seeing scary movies as a child and my brother telling me that all blood in movies was ketchup. It helped me understand that there was more than one truth and that no matter what I saw on the big screen, it was a trick to effect me. After that, I was able to watch just about any movie.
The ability of artists to manipulate feelings has been more apparent to me of recent. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the new projects I’m in the middle of, or all that’s been in the news since last I’ve written.
One often-forwarded image in the immediate aftermath of hurricane Katrina was a composite of two photographs side by side that had been taken from the yahoo news website. In one, a young black boy is wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and is described as a looter. In the other photo, two young white people are wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and the caption describes them as having “found food.” A photographer took that picture, a writer wrote those words. It’s ‘ketchup.’
Kanye West saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on TV - that close to the release of his album - was a big old splash of ketchup that got people’s attention.
Sometimes I forget that however crude, this is all done by design to produce an effect. Ketchup.
Speaking of which, I was part of what I’d like to call a live performance piece this year. Right before the storm, I was LEGALLY searched by NYPD on the long island railroad. Ever since it became legal to search civilians, there have been armed troops, as well as police, all over the commuter rail and subway stations. I was coming back from teaching class. I was wearing a kufi, glasses; a "black nerds unite" t-shirt a backpack full of my students work. I was holding a digital camera (I was teaching documentary filmmaking.) Apparently, that’s terrorist attire. Two cops descended upon me while 2 others watched from a distance and a troop armed with an automatic paced up and down. I won’t get into the details but just know that it was embarrassing, and to top it all off they held my train door open until they were finished. The crowd around me and the crowd on the train treated me like it was 1983 and I shouted out I have AIDS. People switching seats and averting glances. Clearly it was an effective performance… however I don’t know who felt safer after that.
At least they didn’t shoot first, like they did to that dude in London.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear… to know that it’s all ketchup. I wont front … I haven’t worn my kufi out as much since that performance … which I know is wack. Because when we change in even those simple ways we give others the affirmation they need to further deny reality/truth.
And what’s truth. The truth is that we (human beings) are always on the brink of death. The truth is, we are a frail and mighty species with no claws, wings or fangs. The truth is we are full of contradictions right down to our design…our up right posture corrupts our spine. The truth is that safety is the illusion.
Finally. Bush’s reaction to the storm made me think of Batman’s character in the movie “Batman Begins” when he said, “I won’t kill you but I don’t have to save you”
Then I thought of all the things that have kept me from being a batman fan. There’s the fact that he’s this rich guy with no superpowers that lives in a mansion and decides to go out at night and fight crime ungoverned by the rules of law. He never deals with white-collar crime but instead opts to swing from rooftops knocking out bank robbers and masked lunatics. He never for once sees himself as a lawbreaker and is never questioned for living with young “boy wards.”
…That aside 'batman begins' was the best batman flick I’ve seen :)
|
...
I wish something I had to say was as important as what’s been going on.
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
It's hard out here for a pimple
July 4th 2005
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
Last night changed it all (dropped the ball PART 2)
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
Before I rant, let me just say that 90% of everything is bullshit. I forgot who told me that but it holds true. Test it if you don’t believe me. It's probably why I have such a small circle of friends. That thought rang thought my head along with the last note to the Oscar award winning song as performed that night. “It's hard out here for a pimp.” As she held that note my heart shattered like a wine glass.
Yall, I didn’t plan to watch the award show. The house was a mess and we decided
to put on the TV as background noise as we cleaned up. We happened to pass the tv at the same time as the performance began, complete with choreographed pimps whores and Johns. We both watched in AWE as they won an award. And then, QUEEN Latifah - your name cant get more black than that - the author of ladies first, and UNITY) followed them to present an award and said nothing to acknowledge the sickness that preceeded.
Now the Oscars are not my show so they can award whom ever they please, however it was crazy to see that mythology affirmed in such a global public way.
Quick query. Why don’t “conscious” rappers get in to battles with corporate sponsored “gangsta” rappers? Oh and just so no one says I didn’t offer an alternative…if you still listen to hip-hop and want to hear some thing gangsta, check out Immortal Technique.
Bush (and all of the corporate sponsored politicians) knew about Katrina. It's on video tape. So stay focused... an Oscar pales in comparison to the crimes that are being committed in this country daily. We must value ourselves and our image. No one feels compassion for a pimp no matter how hard out there it is for him. Let's broaden our mythology so next time (omnipotent life force forbid) we are wading though water looking for food to survive, we are not labeled looters.
First Octavia passes and now this? "Are we living in Parable of the Sower already? Was my first thought. Then my next thought was "perhaps I should douse myself in gasoline and set myself on fire" BUT with the price of gas being so crazy right now I would hate to waste that on little ole me. My very next thought went to what am I doing artistically right now?
Then I thought, well we do have EXITTHEAPPLE. But sometimes I feel dwarfed by the corporate sponsored rap group that is only a drop in the ocean of wack shit out there representing us. For as many people as there are who come though this site, more connections should be made. I KNOW for a fact that there are folks who come to this site or attend our events whose life works compliment each other but never cross paths.
And I’m guilty of over working and never acknowleding that stuff has actually been done. And people do meet and accomplish things so to that end I do want to thank those of you who do put forth the effort and occasionally shout us out. It helps…however what do we do NOW?
Right now I’m going to finish these scripts I’ve been working on.
As for you my fellow exiters/nerds ask yourself what have you done, what can you do, and are you part of the 90%? Be honest. No pain no gain. The struggle continues.
Peace
|
first of all i really want to thank all of those who showed up and danced HARD through the night at the first gig i ever spun in maryland. we will continue to do it at that spot on the 1st Saturday of every month. more info is here; click for it.
a book store just opened up in our neighborhood and me and my wife went and spent hours buying new books. walking home from the store with the heavy books I started thinking about what an amazing thing it is to be able to read. And how at one time in this county it was ILLEGAL for blacks to read; in some cases an offense punishable by death.
So when I got home started reading everything, every little thing I could. I came across a manual for a vacuum cleaner we just got and to my surprise I came across the following quote:
"The cords, wires and/or cables supplied with the product contain chemicals, including lead or lead compounds, known to the state of california to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after using."
WTF!!!!! wash my hands after using my vacuum? needless to say it is sitting on the curb awaiting trash pick up
on martin luther king day i decided to read the 13th amendment. and something stood out to me
"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, EXCEPT as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
EXCEPT? WTF!!! it made me think about the prison industrial complex and how many of us that have been put through the system don’t even have the right to vote. i think the # is something like 13%
then for some reason i thought about lil kim. i don’t know why but i felt the need to write her. i also thought alot about how important celebrity has become and I’ve always felt like fame/celebrity was such a weird American construct and also how important it has been to black folks.
I’ve always wanted to have a group called “RAB” - Regular Ass Blackfolk. our mission would be to befriend folks as they get more popular and keep them grounded. invite them to our houses, where they would sleep on the couch, send them to the bodega for some chips and make fun of their clothing; but most importantly just talk to them and listen honestly. I am going to write her… not sure what. Whatever it is it’s going to be kind. No self righteous bullshit just whatever’s on my mind. If you want to write her here’s the address:
Kimberly Jones 56198-054
FDC Philadelphia
Federal Detention Center
P.O. BOX 562
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Then yesterday george w bush appoints a judge to the highest court of the land for the sole purpose of reversing roe vs wade; the next day Coretta Scott King dies. i think that means something. Those of you who don’t think they can outlaw women’s right to choose forget that women only recently got the right to vote. Read between the lines.
ps if anyone has abbey lincoln's info holla
|
a book store just opened up in our neighborhood and me and my wife went and spent hours buying new books. walking home from the store with the heavy books I started thinking about what an amazing thing it is to be able to read. And how at one time in this county it was ILLEGAL for blacks to read; in some cases an offense punishable by death.
So when I got home started reading everything, every little thing I could. I came across a manual for a vacuum cleaner we just got and to my surprise I came across the following quote:
"The cords, wires and/or cables supplied with the product contain chemicals, including lead or lead compounds, known to the state of california to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after using."
WTF!!!!! wash my hands after using my vacuum? needless to say it is sitting on the curb awaiting trash pick up
on martin luther king day i decided to read the 13th amendment. and something stood out to me
"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, EXCEPT as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
EXCEPT? WTF!!! it made me think about the prison industrial complex and how many of us that have been put through the system don’t even have the right to vote. i think the # is something like 13%
then for some reason i thought about lil kim. i don’t know why but i felt the need to write her. i also thought alot about how important celebrity has become and I’ve always felt like fame/celebrity was such a weird American construct and also how important it has been to black folks.
I’ve always wanted to have a group called “RAB” - Regular Ass Blackfolk. our mission would be to befriend folks as they get more popular and keep them grounded. invite them to our houses, where they would sleep on the couch, send them to the bodega for some chips and make fun of their clothing; but most importantly just talk to them and listen honestly. I am going to write her… not sure what. Whatever it is it’s going to be kind. No self righteous bullshit just whatever’s on my mind. If you want to write her here’s the address:
Kimberly Jones 56198-054
FDC Philadelphia
Federal Detention Center
P.O. BOX 562
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Then yesterday george w bush appoints a judge to the highest court of the land for the sole purpose of reversing roe vs wade; the next day Coretta Scott King dies. i think that means something. Those of you who don’t think they can outlaw women’s right to choose forget that women only recently got the right to vote. Read between the lines.
ps if anyone has abbey lincoln's info holla
|
Do The Write Thing
12/30/02
Let me preface what I’m about to say by saying I don’t watch Television often so if what I’m about to describe is normal and my reaction to it is over the top its because I’m unaccustomed to what is probably considered normal right now.
The scene opens up on two young men sitting in a parked car. One is black the other is white. The black guy is holding a container filled with chicken pieces. As he is about to eat a piece of chicken his friend (the white guy) cautions him against eating a piece chicken now and just as he's about to suggest a proper time and place his friend pops the piece of chicken into his mouth. Suddenly you hear sirens and then fire trucks pull up out of nowhere. Fire men run out of the trucks hook up hoses to hydrants then proceed to point the hoses in the faces of the two men through the window of the parked car and turn them on full blast. Then they cut away to the voice over and the pitch of the ad describes what a great deal you are getting by purchasing this chicken. When we cut back to our 2 “protagonists” drenched in the car. The black guy leans over apologetically to say something only to be cut off by his friend telling him very coldly to get out of the car. The end.
Now usually I would go on in a million directions about what I felt was wrong with that but I wont waste my time on the obvious. Instead I’m going to cut to the chase and offer what I feel is an answer.
The problem for me is not necessarily those images as it is the lack of alternatives. So this goes out to you.
Yeah you reading this right now.
If you as tired of this bullsh*t as I am, take a camera and MAKE SOMETHING. Please… If you’re a writer or just have an idea and need to learn structure I urge you to check this site out click around and read what you feel applies to you
http://lifewrite.com/
|
John Henry style
12/9/05
Today I woke up to a banging on my door. Not your normal Jehovah witness, UPS drop off polite knocking. Its was a heavy side of your fist Poe Poe drug bust knocking. This was the first sound I heard this morning at 300:00 that’s right folks 300:00 I didn’t even know that such an hour existed until this morning.
Apparently some young “entrepreneur” was roaming the neighborhood (with a DIGGING shovel) offing his snow shoveling skills for a small fee. Which I’m all for.
However I am a new homeowner and this is my first snow so I got dressed got my bright orange SNOW shovel and went to shovel my walk way. On my way out I saw the young man shoveling my neighbors walk. I being a new person in the neighborhood, wanting to show good will and that I wasn’t bitter about the pounding he put on my door turned to him and said “hey, good morning” I waved and smiled and every thing.
his reaction: This kid ICE grilled me like I threw dodo at his mama. I got so pissed that he looked at me like that, that after I finished shoveling my walk way I shoveled the walkway of the next 3 houses and wrecked his whole hustle. I was actually done with those 3 and my own before he was done with his one. The smile that I gave him while walking into my house and tapping the excess snow off my boots …priceless.
|
Ketchup
The intent of an artist is to affect the viewer. I remember seeing scary movies as a child and my brother telling me that all blood in movies was ketchup. It helped me understand that there was more than one truth and that no matter what I saw on the big screen, it was a trick to effect me. After that, I was able to watch just about any movie.
The ability of artists to manipulate feelings has been more apparent to me of recent. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the new projects I’m in the middle of, or all that’s been in the news since last I’ve written.
One often-forwarded image in the immediate aftermath of hurricane Katrina was a composite of two photographs side by side that had been taken from the yahoo news website. In one, a young black boy is wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and is described as a looter. In the other photo, two young white people are wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and the caption describes them as having “found food.” A photographer took that picture, a writer wrote those words. It’s ‘ketchup.’
Kanye West saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on TV - that close to the release of his album - was a big old splash of ketchup that got people’s attention.
Sometimes I forget that however crude, this is all done by design to produce an effect. Ketchup.
Speaking of which, I was part of what I’d like to call a live performance piece this year. Right before the storm, I was LEGALLY searched by NYPD on the long island railroad. Ever since it became legal to search civilians, there have been armed troops, as well as police, all over the commuter rail and subway stations. I was coming back from teaching class. I was wearing a kufi, glasses; a "black nerds unite" t-shirt a backpack full of my students work. I was holding a digital camera (I was teaching documentary filmmaking.) Apparently, that’s terrorist attire. Two cops descended upon me while 2 others watched from a distance and a troop armed with an automatic paced up and down. I won’t get into the details but just know that it was embarrassing, and to top it all off they held my train door open until they were finished. The crowd around me and the crowd on the train treated me like it was 1983 and I shouted out I have AIDS. People switching seats and averting glances. Clearly it was an effective performance… however I don’t know who felt safer after that.
At least they didn’t shoot first, like they did to that dude in London.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear… to know that it’s all ketchup. I wont front … I haven’t worn my kufi out as much since that performance … which I know is wack. Because when we change in even those simple ways we give others the affirmation they need to further deny reality/truth.
And what’s truth. The truth is that we (human beings) are always on the brink of death. The truth is, we are a frail and mighty species with no claws, wings or fangs. The truth is we are full of contradictions right down to our design…our up right posture corrupts our spine. The truth is that safety is the illusion.
Finally. Bush’s reaction to the storm made me think of Batman’s character in the movie “Batman Begins” when he said, “I won’t kill you but I don’t have to save you”
Then I thought of all the things that have kept me from being a batman fan. There’s the fact that he’s this rich guy with no superpowers that lives in a mansion and decides to go out at night and fight crime ungoverned by the rules of law. He never deals with white-collar crime but instead opts to swing from rooftops knocking out bank robbers and masked lunatics. He never for once sees himself as a lawbreaker and is never questioned for living with young “boy wards.”
…That aside 'batman begins' was the best batman flick I’ve seen :)
|
...
I wish something I had to say was as important as what’s been going on.
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
It's hard out here for a pimple
July 4th 2005
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
Last night changed it all (dropped the ball PART 2)
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
Let me preface what I’m about to say by saying I don’t watch Television often so if what I’m about to describe is normal and my reaction to it is over the top its because I’m unaccustomed to what is probably considered normal right now.
The scene opens up on two young men sitting in a parked car. One is black the other is white. The black guy is holding a container filled with chicken pieces. As he is about to eat a piece of chicken his friend (the white guy) cautions him against eating a piece chicken now and just as he's about to suggest a proper time and place his friend pops the piece of chicken into his mouth. Suddenly you hear sirens and then fire trucks pull up out of nowhere. Fire men run out of the trucks hook up hoses to hydrants then proceed to point the hoses in the faces of the two men through the window of the parked car and turn them on full blast. Then they cut away to the voice over and the pitch of the ad describes what a great deal you are getting by purchasing this chicken. When we cut back to our 2 “protagonists” drenched in the car. The black guy leans over apologetically to say something only to be cut off by his friend telling him very coldly to get out of the car. The end.
Now usually I would go on in a million directions about what I felt was wrong with that but I wont waste my time on the obvious. Instead I’m going to cut to the chase and offer what I feel is an answer.
The problem for me is not necessarily those images as it is the lack of alternatives. So this goes out to you.
Yeah you reading this right now.
If you as tired of this bullsh*t as I am, take a camera and MAKE SOMETHING. Please… If you’re a writer or just have an idea and need to learn structure I urge you to check this site out click around and read what you feel applies to you
http://lifewrite.com/
|
12/9/05
Today I woke up to a banging on my door. Not your normal Jehovah witness, UPS drop off polite knocking. Its was a heavy side of your fist Poe Poe drug bust knocking. This was the first sound I heard this morning at 300:00 that’s right folks 300:00 I didn’t even know that such an hour existed until this morning.
Apparently some young “entrepreneur” was roaming the neighborhood (with a DIGGING shovel) offing his snow shoveling skills for a small fee. Which I’m all for.
However I am a new homeowner and this is my first snow so I got dressed got my bright orange SNOW shovel and went to shovel my walk way. On my way out I saw the young man shoveling my neighbors walk. I being a new person in the neighborhood, wanting to show good will and that I wasn’t bitter about the pounding he put on my door turned to him and said “hey, good morning” I waved and smiled and every thing.
his reaction: This kid ICE grilled me like I threw dodo at his mama. I got so pissed that he looked at me like that, that after I finished shoveling my walk way I shoveled the walkway of the next 3 houses and wrecked his whole hustle. I was actually done with those 3 and my own before he was done with his one. The smile that I gave him while walking into my house and tapping the excess snow off my boots …priceless.
|
Today I woke up to a banging on my door. Not your normal Jehovah witness, UPS drop off polite knocking. Its was a heavy side of your fist Poe Poe drug bust knocking. This was the first sound I heard this morning at 300:00 that’s right folks 300:00 I didn’t even know that such an hour existed until this morning.
Apparently some young “entrepreneur” was roaming the neighborhood (with a DIGGING shovel) offing his snow shoveling skills for a small fee. Which I’m all for.
However I am a new homeowner and this is my first snow so I got dressed got my bright orange SNOW shovel and went to shovel my walk way. On my way out I saw the young man shoveling my neighbors walk. I being a new person in the neighborhood, wanting to show good will and that I wasn’t bitter about the pounding he put on my door turned to him and said “hey, good morning” I waved and smiled and every thing.
his reaction: This kid ICE grilled me like I threw dodo at his mama. I got so pissed that he looked at me like that, that after I finished shoveling my walk way I shoveled the walkway of the next 3 houses and wrecked his whole hustle. I was actually done with those 3 and my own before he was done with his one. The smile that I gave him while walking into my house and tapping the excess snow off my boots …priceless.
|
Ketchup
The intent of an artist is to affect the viewer. I remember seeing scary movies as a child and my brother telling me that all blood in movies was ketchup. It helped me understand that there was more than one truth and that no matter what I saw on the big screen, it was a trick to effect me. After that, I was able to watch just about any movie.
The ability of artists to manipulate feelings has been more apparent to me of recent. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the new projects I’m in the middle of, or all that’s been in the news since last I’ve written.
One often-forwarded image in the immediate aftermath of hurricane Katrina was a composite of two photographs side by side that had been taken from the yahoo news website. In one, a young black boy is wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and is described as a looter. In the other photo, two young white people are wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and the caption describes them as having “found food.” A photographer took that picture, a writer wrote those words. It’s ‘ketchup.’
Kanye West saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on TV - that close to the release of his album - was a big old splash of ketchup that got people’s attention.
Sometimes I forget that however crude, this is all done by design to produce an effect. Ketchup.
Speaking of which, I was part of what I’d like to call a live performance piece this year. Right before the storm, I was LEGALLY searched by NYPD on the long island railroad. Ever since it became legal to search civilians, there have been armed troops, as well as police, all over the commuter rail and subway stations. I was coming back from teaching class. I was wearing a kufi, glasses; a "black nerds unite" t-shirt a backpack full of my students work. I was holding a digital camera (I was teaching documentary filmmaking.) Apparently, that’s terrorist attire. Two cops descended upon me while 2 others watched from a distance and a troop armed with an automatic paced up and down. I won’t get into the details but just know that it was embarrassing, and to top it all off they held my train door open until they were finished. The crowd around me and the crowd on the train treated me like it was 1983 and I shouted out I have AIDS. People switching seats and averting glances. Clearly it was an effective performance… however I don’t know who felt safer after that.
At least they didn’t shoot first, like they did to that dude in London.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear… to know that it’s all ketchup. I wont front … I haven’t worn my kufi out as much since that performance … which I know is wack. Because when we change in even those simple ways we give others the affirmation they need to further deny reality/truth.
And what’s truth. The truth is that we (human beings) are always on the brink of death. The truth is, we are a frail and mighty species with no claws, wings or fangs. The truth is we are full of contradictions right down to our design…our up right posture corrupts our spine. The truth is that safety is the illusion.
Finally. Bush’s reaction to the storm made me think of Batman’s character in the movie “Batman Begins” when he said, “I won’t kill you but I don’t have to save you”
Then I thought of all the things that have kept me from being a batman fan. There’s the fact that he’s this rich guy with no superpowers that lives in a mansion and decides to go out at night and fight crime ungoverned by the rules of law. He never deals with white-collar crime but instead opts to swing from rooftops knocking out bank robbers and masked lunatics. He never for once sees himself as a lawbreaker and is never questioned for living with young “boy wards.”
…That aside 'batman begins' was the best batman flick I’ve seen :)
|
...
I wish something I had to say was as important as what’s been going on.
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
It's hard out here for a pimple
July 4th 2005
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
Last night changed it all (dropped the ball PART 2)
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
The ability of artists to manipulate feelings has been more apparent to me of recent. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the new projects I’m in the middle of, or all that’s been in the news since last I’ve written.
One often-forwarded image in the immediate aftermath of hurricane Katrina was a composite of two photographs side by side that had been taken from the yahoo news website. In one, a young black boy is wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and is described as a looter. In the other photo, two young white people are wading through chest-deep water carrying food, and the caption describes them as having “found food.” A photographer took that picture, a writer wrote those words. It’s ‘ketchup.’
Kanye West saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on TV - that close to the release of his album - was a big old splash of ketchup that got people’s attention.
Sometimes I forget that however crude, this is all done by design to produce an effect. Ketchup.
Speaking of which, I was part of what I’d like to call a live performance piece this year. Right before the storm, I was LEGALLY searched by NYPD on the long island railroad. Ever since it became legal to search civilians, there have been armed troops, as well as police, all over the commuter rail and subway stations. I was coming back from teaching class. I was wearing a kufi, glasses; a "black nerds unite" t-shirt a backpack full of my students work. I was holding a digital camera (I was teaching documentary filmmaking.) Apparently, that’s terrorist attire. Two cops descended upon me while 2 others watched from a distance and a troop armed with an automatic paced up and down. I won’t get into the details but just know that it was embarrassing, and to top it all off they held my train door open until they were finished. The crowd around me and the crowd on the train treated me like it was 1983 and I shouted out I have AIDS. People switching seats and averting glances. Clearly it was an effective performance… however I don’t know who felt safer after that.
At least they didn’t shoot first, like they did to that dude in London.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear… to know that it’s all ketchup. I wont front … I haven’t worn my kufi out as much since that performance … which I know is wack. Because when we change in even those simple ways we give others the affirmation they need to further deny reality/truth.
And what’s truth. The truth is that we (human beings) are always on the brink of death. The truth is, we are a frail and mighty species with no claws, wings or fangs. The truth is we are full of contradictions right down to our design…our up right posture corrupts our spine. The truth is that safety is the illusion.
Finally. Bush’s reaction to the storm made me think of Batman’s character in the movie “Batman Begins” when he said, “I won’t kill you but I don’t have to save you”
Then I thought of all the things that have kept me from being a batman fan. There’s the fact that he’s this rich guy with no superpowers that lives in a mansion and decides to go out at night and fight crime ungoverned by the rules of law. He never deals with white-collar crime but instead opts to swing from rooftops knocking out bank robbers and masked lunatics. He never for once sees himself as a lawbreaker and is never questioned for living with young “boy wards.”
…That aside 'batman begins' was the best batman flick I’ve seen :)
|
I wish something I had to say was as important as what’s been going on.
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
The process of moving forward begins with coming together and helping out. Give, what you can not just $ - people need clothes, food, diapers, bottled water, toys or children’s books, Here are some good places to start.
American Red Cross – direct donations online or by check
http://www.redcross.org/
Give Through Ebay Trading
http://www.missionfish.org/promo/2005/katrina/index.jsp
Give to United Way via PayPal
http://www.paypal.com
|
It's hard out here for a pimple
July 4th 2005
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
Last night changed it all (dropped the ball PART 2)
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
I finally got the courage to watch "Hotel Rwanda" last night. I followed that story in the news when it was happening and it was hard to deal with then. Hard to read and then digest as reality. It's hard to imagine somewhere in the world shit like that is still going on. Needless to say I had some ill nightmares last night. It was happening here and the warring factions were gangs and of course there were people trapped in the middle and I was one. All these MCs were on the radio encouraging the killing and it was all the gangs would listen to. There was no Paul Ruesesabagina to negotiate for lives, there was no safe space - as often there is not. I won't get into details as those of you who actually read this blog from time to time are probably tired of reading about my personal slice of 'uglies' in my world.
Ask yourself this question this 4th of July. When was it ever not an ugly time in human existence? Horror exists, it seems weather we choose to pay attention to it or not. Perhaps it serves some greater functions that we don’t see but regardless there it is.
2 things really quickly before I change the subject dramatically - #1. there is a line in the national anthem that says “…the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that the flag was still there” do you know how many fucking bombs have to go off to see something through an entire night? #2 there was a song during the credits of “Hotel Rwanda” that made my jaw drop almost as much as some parts of the movie. It was a song by Wyclef and in the song he said “if America is the United States of America why cant Africa be the united states of Africa? and if England is the United Kingdom why cant Africa unite all its Kingdoms and become the United Kingdom of Africa”.
Is he not aware that this county was attained by genocide that till this day is not historically dealt with fully? Actually it was started by people from the United Kingdom who enslaved, tortured and conquered people all around the world - not just here. ACTUALLY it’s the reason I speak and write English and can't even dream in a language native to where any of my people are from. ACTUALLY I don’t want to go into how wack that line was (to me)… I should try to see the positive in everything. I think he was trying to just say ‘Africa Unite’… however it was poorly executed.
Hey at least it wasn’t him putting his energy into a line like “it's hard out here for a pimp”
pimping is illegal... shouldnt it be hard?
A friend of mine went to a FREE screening of “Hustle and Flow” and not only does she want her money back (LOL) but she said that it was so sad that it's worth REopening our “why black folks aint gonna rise” file. For those of you who aren’t in on the joke, the “why black folks aint gonna rise” file was an actual file that us and some of our friends kept where we collected things created by black folks or about black folks that we felt did more harm than good (in our opinion) and couldn’t believe existed in this day and time.
OK so let me end this blog with something WACK about ME and then something happy.
I realized this past week that I’m really vain. I DJ’d at a club a couple of weeks ago and usually I shave my mustache off. The gig went great, some days passed and I got an ingrown hair on the rim of my lip that was unpopable. I know this because I squeezed it in every direction which only made it red and big, real big. It looked like a giant herpe and it changed my whole attitude. I was even hesitant to go out cause I knew I would feel obligated to explain that what was on my lip was not contagious and folks can greet me affectionately without fear. It has since gone through the stages of pimpledom and is on its way out but I was amazed at how something so small can change your life.
The last thing I’ll leave yall with is that recently me and my wife celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary and almost didn’t notice. Its been great fun. It still feels like one big sleepover. Neither of us is really that into remembering dates but we're happy - more so than either of us thought possible. I suppose I can balance the statement made earlier by saying: When in history hasn’t love and happiness shined through the darkness and colored our human experience for the better? There has always been that, weather we choose to see it or not.
I suppose recognizing the balance between what's ugly and what's beautiful is what makes each so.
|
6/14/05
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
So last night RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW their we shots A LOT of shots. It was like some one cooking a full bag microwave pop corn amplified 1000 times. Guess where the shots were aimed and coming back from…yup “the house” every neighborhood has a house like “the house” this is important cause this is the house that houses the children that were on my fence that I made reference to in the last post.
The same children who since I last wrote I’ve done every thing but go to their house with a bag full of x-mas gifts to seem cordial or at least approachable. Even when I give them the obligatory friendly wave and hello I get dissed.
So last night we dealt with all the BULLSHIT that comes after such an event. Checking to see if your mate and family members are safe, checking the house for bullet holes, all the flashing lights and yellow tape bla bla bla
Ok so here is where is goes to the twilight zone: a family member decided that sometime after this event that they need to go to the all night Laundromat to wash clothes. If your neighborhood has one of these wonderful establishments (that’s my feeble attempt at sarcasm) you know that most of it is glass. Well you’ll never guess who decides to retaliate for the shooting RIGHT OUT SIDE MY WINDOW…drum roll please! The rival gang. They shoot up the Laundromat that my family member is in. Needless to say there was a stampede of folks running in all directions. Only 2 people – one ‘gang member’ and the store owner - got shot; neither was critically wounded, and neither one of them are related to me. Apparently this went on a few more times in various locations last night.
I was so mad last night. I still am. I’m NOT going to post what I had started to write last night because it was just pure venting. I’m a little more together right now but every time a cop car slows up around the corner I get pissed all over again. I don’t know folks I’m I bit tired as I wrote all this…not sure what to do. I have nothing nice to say right now. But I will laugh today.
|
I dropped the ball yall :(
May 30th 2005
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
in sickness or in health
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
Today I came back from the post office and there were like 15 kids (mid to late teens) chilling HARD on my fence. Some were sitting on the curb, some where leaning on the street sign, some were leaning on the fence. Most had the obligatory blue bandana and there was even one girl there with a baby. As we got out of the car to go past them and into into the house we all exchanged looks. There was quite a bit of tension. Mostly that bullsh*t male territory thing (at least between me and the older boys). I told my mom (who was with us) that I was going to talk to them. She got immediately got defensive and said “NO! those kids might have guns” Jamyla said “yeah but they are just kids” which I agree with TOTALLY.
WE…YOU and I are the adults that need to talk to these children, like our parents did us. WE CANT BE AFRAID OF OUT CHILDREN!!!! people seem so overwhelmed with this seemingly abrupt rise in "gang" culture and often dont know where to start. I say start at our fence!
I felt what I had to say needed to be direct but I couldn’t think of what exactly to say. And I didn’t want to just make something up on the spot. Truth be told I don’t like seeing them on the corner but more than that I hate seeing the cops coming around, and more than that I hate seeing children lying in the street bleeding from bullet holes, like the 2 children that got shot near that corner last year. I think they lived but their blood stained the street for weeks. i'd be lying if i didnt say walking by it almost everyday didnt messed me up. I remember that shoot out. Neighbors had bullets lodged in their house’s and fences. One neighbor was almost shot in the head.The only thing that saved him from being a statistic was his computer screen. How crazy is that?
I went to my bedroom looked out the window and rehearsed what must have been a hundred things to say and a thousand ways to approach them without seeming corny, but by the time I got my spiel together they were gone.
Since then I have felt like a failure. Still do. I feel like I failed that moment. The first thing that came to mind was how about 2 months ago someone had written “crip” on someone’s fence with neon colored fun spray one day after school let out. It was a very “lord of the flies” moment but more than that it was just so sad. You know? Isn’t fun string spray supposed to be fun?
I’m sure their will be more opportunities as the summer draws nearer.
to be continued....
|
april 27th 2005
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
Since last time I posted I caught a pretty bad case of food poisoning. I couldn’t hold anything down and was hemmed up in bed for days. If you have a “bed time” and don’t order out a lot this particular blog entry probably wont apply to you. However if you are one of those folks who is constantly making lists and does 100 things a day an never seems to get everything they want done…then this might apply.
I fully believe that my body chose not fight whatever it was in what I ate, in order to make me revamp how I was treating myself.
I had to stay in bed and rest, something I rarely do. I had to eat right or else! I got to catch up on my reading and exercise properly. My inability to do things as fast as I wanted to had given me a second to really help me pace myself. I guess my point is take time out to rest before your body takes it for you.
In other news…I like to give a shout out to VIDEO BASKET in Brooklyn you’ll be missed
|
unseen
march 23,2005
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
Archives
My mother said something to me the other day that caught my ear. She said “give thanks for the seen and the unseen in good times and in bad.” I couldn’t help but think about the stuff I don’t see. I haven’t watched TV in a very long time however I read both popular news and alternative news just for perspective. Popular news likes to highlight the negative and relevant things and alternative news tends to be so zealous in its debunking of “the media” they forget to point the finger at themselves. I saw 3 headlines that caught my eye this past weekend and they were just so outrageous I had to pick them up
- Woman’s feeding tube is removed (NY times)
- The face of evil (NY daily news)
- Blind girl raped in subway (NY post)
Here are some things that you don’t hear about that would like to know more about.
- Prison and the millions of people in them,
- Racism its new and improved!
- The survivors of the flood in Guyana, did you know more that one natural disater can happen at one time
- Garbage…yeah remember that Doritos bag you threw away in 6th grade? Where is it now? Cause it is still somewhere.
- The American troops? We are still at WAR, so where is the coverage the full coverage? How are they doing? How are they doing in their hearts and minds? What are they coming back to?
I dont really expect any truth on the war to come out anytime soon so I am presently rereading a book that I hadn’t picked up in at least 15 years called “Bloods” it’s the account of the black experience in Vietnam as told by the troops. I figure it would be easier to study the recent past to get a better understanding as to what is presently going on in the world. It just far enough away historically to get some perspective on things. I’d be very interested in knowing the truth of those young people out thier right now.
|
